The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
With the encouragement and support of some good friends, I attended my first Al Anon meeting last night. I felt the speaker's topic, Communication, was helpful to me, as frequently I have a difficult time with that; communication not only with others, but also with myself. But the rest of the meeting didn't make much sense to me, and I was feeling too shy to share what was going on with anyone at the meeting, besides my fellow newbie companions.
After the meeting however, I had a profound experience. A friend dropped by my house and upon entering the front room, she remarked on my packet of Al Anon materials discarded on the coffee table, "That is why I was supposed to come here tonight, God wanted me to see this and return to Al Anon". I am a follower of Jesus Christ, and I have seen divine intervention/communication in my life before. So when my non-Christian friend remarked on this packet as an Act of God, I took notice. We talked about her experience with Al Anon and how it affected and benefited her life.
When she left, I got on my computer and went to the Al Anon website. I listed to testimony related to the question "what does it mean that our lives have become unmanageable?", and it hit me like a ton of bricks. THIS IS ME. I didn't know my life was unmanageable until I heard what these other people were saying, and I knew I was in that same place.
I thought I had attended the meeting because I don't know how to feel about my ABF, who had recently started drinking again. But it opened up so much more, going back to the high conflict divorce from my A ex-husband, and my non-A but codependent family.
I'm anxious to heal from these things. I have better boundaries than I used to, but they still need improvement. I haven't told my A boyfriend I went to the meeting, I'm not sure how he'll respond. He knows I'm feeling stressed about his starting to drink again after a couple of months of sobriety; this time after I gave him the ultimatum "I don't want to be with you if you're drinking".... *sigh*.
Like I said, I'm ready for some healing. So glad I found Al Anon.
Great share and HP awareness The tools, the meetings , the Steps do work so please keep coming back i The meeting format takes getting use to, however it will begin to make sens the more you attend.
Usually there is a speaker and a topic, then the room is opened to member shares
Each member can share from their own experience without interruption That is because living with the disease of alcoholism we often never feel heard.
Keep coming back
Welcome to MIP Burr1017 - so glad you found us and so glad that you joined right in and shared. I love your story - I see it as a mini-miracle as I am on a quest to see the miracles around me instead of the alternative. I am glad too that you've started Al-Anon - it was a game changer for me in my life, my attitudes, my outlooks - everything.
There is hope and help and I hope you continue to go. I was unsure at first but it kept feeling righter and righter....so I kept going back and am grateful that I did.
Keep coming back - this is an awesome way to supplement your program!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
That is just how my HP works with me and I love that I don't have to think up, plan or engineer the miracle like I use to think I could....LOL Evidentially your HP knows you can respond quickly. Look out cause HP will use you often. LOL (((hugs)))
Even more enlightenment came later this week, when I realized the MOMENT alcoholism entered my life. It was July 21, 2002. My family was returning from a week long vacation; after driving 8+ hours, we were about 20 minutes from home when a drunk driver, swerving across the highway, slammed into my family's travel trailer sending it and our conversion van down a 12 foot embankment into a ditch on the side of the highway. Miraculously, all 7 of us exited the van alive and the intoxicated driver even came down to help us out of the vehicle.
I suffered the worst of the injuries, from which I still bear scars, but overall the injuries were minor.
I understand when they say "alcoholism is a family disease". I know exactly when my family was infected. I felt a difference in my life after that event, and it is making sense why I felt that shift. I have noticed a difference in my family members as well.
So thankful for this enlightenment and looking forward to more healing.
Thank you, hotrod, Iamhere, and Jerry F, for your kind words. I intent to keep coming back, thanks for your encouragement.
Welcome, burr, so glad you went to your first meeting, and that you shared it with us! Meetings were extremely helpful for me when first trying to make sense of my dispair, and continue to be even after AlAnon has helped me find some peace and clarity. Keep going back, and keep coming back here to share! I wish you peace in your journey
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
