The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
i apologize for not writing about Hope for Today- I am preparing for a move and although I thought I'd set my books aside this morning at 5 I couldn't find it! So instead of opening up boxes I thought I'd write about one of the verses from just for today:
JUST FOR TODAY I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my luck as it comes, and fit myself to it.
What these words mean for me is acceptance. Taking things as they come, living life on life's terms,not trying to force a situation or solution. I know that my instinct for a long long time was to try and fix whatever I thought was wrong-usually what I thought was 'wrong' in other people! Wasn't I something. It took some time- and I still work on this daily- to realize that the only person I need to work on is myself. Adjusting to what is actually happening rather than being consistently disappointed by the expectations I have is a better fit for me. If something feels off to me these days I think about whether or not I can change it, if I can I do, if I can't i work on acceptance and adjusting. In terms of alcoholism, the most meaningful statement I heard was after talking on and on about all the things that resulted because of my then AH's drinking. Someone said, 'an A is going to drink. What are you going to do?' It put things in perspective for me-- if I can do something I will.
Thanks for taking the time(in the midst of a move) to share your thoughts on this important topic ,Mary. I do love this small piece of literature and have used it extensively in my recovery journey. The section that you selected is definitely about acceptance and states it so simply.
Before program I was continually attempting to adjust everything to my desires and could never accept life on life's terms without alanon and the important tools provided.I needed to understand that acceptance did not mean that I approved it, merely indicated that I had stopped fighting reality
Thank you so much, Yanks, that is a fantastic read and strong ESH. When I am honest with myself at times of frustration, anger or disappointment, I realize that it typically begins with me looking through the lense that I brought, and measured against my own expectations of how things should be done.
Great point about focus on the perceived misdeeds and actions of the qualifier, as I certainly tended to focus on the laundry list of their deeds instead of asking the most important question: 'What am I doing with my attitude, expectations, and actions, the only things I can control'?
Armed with that alone, I can address much of the challenges I unwittingly place in front of my own recovery. Strong the tools and wisdom of AlAnon, so grateful
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Good morning Mary and thank you for your service......may your move be as uneventful as possible - moving can be so stressful but great on the back side! I love the empowerment in "Just for Today".....for me, my mind often wants to solve all the world problems and in my time frame. This always reminds me to stay present and to realize I am not responsible for things beyond me. I agree that acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today.
Like those above me, before Al-Anon, I tried to change others to meet my wants/needs. I also tried to force solutions to fit my wants/needs/time frame. What the program has helped me see and understand is my view of the world around me was not always healthy and when I can stay present, nothing appears larger than life. All things are possible with faith, acceptance and trust in a HP who will always lead me where I need to go when I am willing to hear/listen/follow.
Make it a great Tuesday everyone!! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
