The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for September 12 speaks about the 3As : . Awareness, Acceptance and Action.
It points out that true change can only happen,when we achieve awareness,move to -acceptance and then we can take action.
Attempting to cope with the new awareness can be extremely awkward, as most of us are eager to spare ourselves, pain and discomfort, so we want to take action.The action that follows is usually a reaction and will not last. Until we accept the reality which we have been faced with. we probably will not be capable of taking appropriate actions.
Many of us hesitate to accept an unpleasant reality because we feel that by accepting it, we are condoning it . That is not the case. Acceptance does not mean submission to a degrading situation.-- It means accepting the fact of the situation, then deciding what we do about it. Acceptance can be empowering, because it makes choice possible.
The quote is from Thomas Jefferson "for here we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may need."
I know prior to program that I always jumped from awareness to action because I reacted constantly and did not want to feel the discomfort of the awareness.
I learned that these reactions were just that and once I had settled in, I forgot the awareness and went back to business as usual. I guess that is when my Denial kicked in.
Today I have learned how to sit with the awareness, feel the pain, own it, examine it and then ask HP for guidance on what action to take . I must admit the outcome is much better and the solutions (responses ) which are based on intelligent processing(not reactions) do hold
Thank you Betty for today's daily and your service. I never know where my mind will take a daily reading, but what struck me was the quote from Thomas Jefferson - how wise he was and how profound and true. A simple yet powerful quote.
I have learned the hard way that if I skip any step or suggested path in recovery it rarely will stick. I have always been told that there is no foot race in recovery - it's a daily effort to move forward. If/when I become aware and act, I too have found myself in less that preferred outcomes. This has also been true if I've hurried through the steps, or made decisions when I am still working to accept a person, situation or event.
Before I began my recovery in Al-Anon, I felt that I was a strong person, making fast decisions and that if I wasn't able to have answers/solutions fast, it was a weakness. Learning to pause and process the truth - painful or not - and then work to accept before any action has calmed my head/heart/soul. I now have gratitude that grace and pausing when faced with difficult situations is truly a gift and there is no shame in taking the necessary time to work with HP for the best next steps.
When I make decisions based on emotions, I am often left feeling yucky and having to back up and do the work any ways....and often - there is an amends in there because I reacted instead of responded. I prefer the program suggested way instead of my way today and it's brought me tons of peace/serenity.
Make it a great Monday. It's another lovely day in KS - sun is shining and it's about 70 degrees! Very, very lovely weather day! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you Betty and IAH. Your messages, interpretations and encouragement are always helpful. I have gone right back to step 1, to really work it again. I have been struggling with my recovery in the past week and I need to go back to re-stick that glue.
Also a really beautiful day in NY; low 70s, no humidity, puffy clouds in a blue sky. I am very grateful for the day, this program, this site, and all here.
