Al-Anon Family Group

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Post Info TOPIC: QTP


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 290
Date:
QTP


I noticed this weekend, since a cousin came to stay at my house since last week, that the abf has become snappy toward me, trying to start a fight. She is young, pretty, and sexy. All weekend he was snappy toward me, yesterday was worse after church. First he was nice toward me after church then later on was snappy and was raising his voice toward me when I asked a question. It was like this other person appeared. The angry person. I ignored him and did not argue back. I am sure I could have raised my voice back and confronted him about his tone of voice toward me but I just let it go. This morning, while getting ready for work, he was the same way. I again just ignored him. Then the thought came into my mind, quit taking it personally, what he says. Just let it go! I see that he is angry at himself, for what ever reason and its not my problem. I am trying hard to keep the focus on myself and say not my problem, not my problem. I am not sure what is causing his moods to suddenly effect me and I am seeing his nasty comments, because a few weeks back it did not bother me. The good news is there continues to be sobriety in the house, and I am grateful! I can tolerate the raise voice over the active drinking but I am also aware, that I do need to protect myself if I feel abused. I know what abuse feels like and when its directed at me. I know these are signs of dry drunk behavior and I just have to let it go. He still continues to refuse to go to AA meetings. He says AA does nothing for him and that church is the only way for him to remain sober. If it works for him, it works. Its better than the active alcoholism that was in the house. This morning I am grateful he has gone to work, I am alone in the house, time for me. I am grateful for another sober weekend, My cousin, is aware of the no drinking rule in the house and has so far respected it and went away yesterday to BF friends house, a man, to do drinking there. What ever works for her as long as the drinking does not happen here in the house. I am grateful for another day of sobriety. How long will this sobriety last? I have no idea. The way he is getting snappy, It could be a relapse again. Not sure, but I have my plan B still in place in the event it should occur, my own apartment that I can move into! I will be getting to a face to face meeting tonight, as I have missed two meetings so far and I need the support for me...not for anyone but me!

 

Thanks for letting me share!           



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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:

Positive thoughts continue ((Joker))

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
2HP


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 494
Date:

I had the same experience, never knowing who's going to walk in the door, Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde..?

You've got some GOOD stuff to focus on though, including your meetings and a plan to take care of yourself. I do know this, what I focus on, gets BIGGER (((peace)))

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