The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm new to Al Anon. Grew up in an alcoholic family. Father was an alcoholic. Mother was probably codependent. It was a difficult childhood.
Left home at 18. Thought I'd overcome childhood. I was always very clear I didn't want to meet a guy who had a drink or drug addiction. Although I dated guys in my 20s, I never really a long term relationship until my 30s. This man turned out to be an alcoholic. Since we started living together 2 years ago the situation has gotten worse and worse.
This relationship reminds me so much of my parents' relationship. The similarities are astonishing. I'm finding it very difficult to cope. The situation seems insane. The sane thing to do is surely to leave but so far I seem unable to...
Hi Emma123. Welcome to alanon boards. I'm glad you're here. Alanon promises serenity. It's from that place I was able to make a healthy decision to leave a codependant 30 yr relationship. That was the choice that was right for me to move forward. That may not be what you do. That you can decide within the loving support of an alanon group what's best for you. Please keep coming back Emma, you are worth it. I wish you peace.
Welcome Emma to MIP - glad you found us and glad that you shared. Alcoholism is a progressive disease for which there is no cure. There is a daily reprieve for those who choose recovery but many do not or can not. Al-Anon helped me work on me, how I feel/think/react/act and gave me back my sanity, strength and hope.
So very sorry that you see the patterns from your youth. Local Al-anon meetings gave me a safe place to share, be heard without judgement or advice and begin to heal. Please keep coming back - you are not alone and there is hope and help in recovery.
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hello Emma Welcome, I too suggest that you search out alanon meeting and attend. Alcoholism is a disease that infects the entire family. So that growing up with the disease, causes us to develop many negative coming tools to survive.
Alanon is program of recovery that provided me with new tools to live by and a healthy environment to grow.
Keep coming back There is hope.
Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement. Yes, I have attended a few local meetings. Though, I'm a shy person and I find it quite difficult to open up in a group. I approached a couple of people and asked them if they would be my sponsor. However, none of them are available to sponsor anyone. I guess I need to keep doing the work alone until I find a sponsor.
I'm new, too, Emma. Grew up in Alcoholic Home and internalized a lot of shame. I recognize my problem(s) very much in what I hear from the Al-Anon people. I went to my first ACOA / AlAnon meeting today, but I too am shy and didn't make any real contact. I intend to keep going to the same group/meeting every week. For now, I'm also holding onto this online group. I think it is important for me to get "hooked" in somehow. If I'm not in some way being "active" in my recovery, I think I'll fall into feeling desperate and trapped in my own disease.
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"put yourself in the place where grace can flow to you." - robert lax
