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hello again my most bestest freinds of alanon hope all is well,I'm been having my neighbors son doing a lot of my yard work which he is good at,lately he has been talking a lot to me about one thing then another he has told me of his pot smoking that he likes doing,and he has found me not judging him of this habit of his which is non of my bus. And I know it's his problem not mine as long as I keep my side of the street clean in all respects,and again he has shared with me of his meth habit which I suspected with his long days of not sleeping as such a young age of 32 ,which is young to me and again he has saw that I didn't judge him of that either ,I've noticed ppl that do meth keep it to themselves like my neighbors son done for a long time till just the other day he told me,he kindly and nicely thanked me for not judging him again and added that that was his worse fear was that I would judge him of that ,and I asked him if that was what all the others feared to he said mostly yes that they feared ppl judging them and I'm thinking the shame that goes with it,I guess.i try and not judge others in anyway but also I don't want and not getting involved in any way that I would feel uncomfortable with the sit.id be more to have to tell him no that I can no longer give you rides to places that would put me in jeopardy like to get his weed,I'm not here to judge anybody for I wouldn't want to be judged either but I'm sure I still get judged or talked about ,I just learn to mind my own bus,myob.and keep my side of street clean,living one day at a time,trying to keep the focus on myself,and learning how to halt,and I'm enough.so true.....thanks mip and fellow alanoners for being here for me ...hugs lu
Really I don't know what to do in this sit.ive known him now for several mths and ppl want his work cause he is so respectful and a hard worker ,I don't want to be judging him but my sister and xbf think I'm judging them for doing their meth,not true,it's their behavior I'm not tolerating ,what they do on their time is their bus. Same goes for neighbors son ,I hope I'm not coming off as judging other ppl for anything times I think ppl think I will judge them and stay away whether it be anything don't have to be drugs,
hi LU I too hired a handyman who had a drug and alcohol problem. I did so with the understanding that if he showed up, did his job well I was not going to fire him That worked well for both of us He was an excellent worker and very respectful.
It is different in a intimate relationship-- Not judging or blaming anyone is a true gift of alanon. We can certainly be discerning and protect ourselves, by accepting the fact that this person is addicted and not leave money or valuables about.
If you like you can mention NA to him and leave it at that
Thank you Betty for your insight,yea I'm just not any good at intimate relationships ,friendships are much better to me and less stressful,I'm glad you could relate to my sit.they are the most hardest workers and good at what they do I've found about addicts and alcoholics.....hugs lu
