The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for September 10 speaks about the destructive negative tool of "denial". It notes that when we first come into program, many of us are so unaware that we use this tool and often don't even realize that there are alcoholics in our lives.
Al-Anon presents a safe place to be able to look at the truth. As we do, begin to keep an open mind and look at the truth, denial begins to lift. Many of us are horrified at the lies we told ourselves and others because we always thought we were truthful and the alcoholic was he liar. When we see this, sometimes we go overboard, and decide that we must increase honesty at all costs.
Al-Anon shows us that our view of the situation is only the truth as seen from our tiny corner of the universe. We can't undo past "denial "by blaming the alcoholic. It is a symptom of the disease that has affected us both
We can forgive extreme responses to situations.,knowing that we did the best we could.. We can learn to be honest and gentle at the same time. The reading suggests we stop worrying about how others see things and focus on ourselves, because we gain more serenity. when we focus on ourselves .
We can stop and step away from the grip of the disease by honestly examining our own motives and feelings.
The quote is from Frederick Nietzsche's; "whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process. He does not become a monster."
Love this page and how gently it points out that due to our attempting to cope with the disease of alcoholism many of us pick up "denial of reality and unknowingly used it often I know that denial was the go to tool in my family of origin. My family still uses it and I am so grateful that have developed healthier tools thanks to alanon.
Thanks Betty for this inspiring esh,helps me to look at my self even more whether I'm still in denial or not,I think I maybe still in some Denial with some things like still making excuses for others bad behaviors or my own bad behavior.its one day at a time and working my program the best I can,that I do know....smiles...hugs..lu
Thanks Betty for the daily and your service. Thanks to you and LU for the ESH. My biggest point of denial was my role/part in the chaos and insanity within my home/family. I was a bit 'mightier than thou' when I walked into Al-Anon, and truly felt in my heart that I was right and they were wrong or a blazing mess!
It took listening and work to understand I played a role - a bigger role than I ever thought possible and to own it. I believe in order to be better, I truly had to accept who I was, what my part was and come to understand that we are all human, we are all going to make mistakes and forgiveness is so important for me to grow/find peace.
I also had to realize that just because I want to grow/change doesn't mean anyone else around me is going to. I do not ever have the right to feel superior or inferior to anyone else no matter what is going on. Staying on my side of the street means that I need to mind my own business and always remember that my judgement of others is a wrong turn for my journey.
I am grateful to be human and to now realize each of us has our strengths and our defects. Defects don't make anyone 'wrong' - just makes us human.
Great weather day here - 2nd place in the tourney - my feet are very, very tired! Hope everyone had a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
