The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have attended naranon meetings in the past before we moved to this town. Everyone keeps telling me that alanon is just fine if you can't fine naranon. I know the principals are the same and I get a lot out of alanon. But sometimes I just want to be able to share experiences and hear other experiences with drugs versus alcohol. There are some different dynamics there. I am grateful to alanon, but why aren't there more naranon meetings face to face or on-line? I can't even find literature for naranon. Marriage on the rocks was wonderful because I got a lot out of it, but why doesn't anyone write a book about drugs?
I guess it's a question of those of us who need it needing to start the meetings up. In our town, there is one alanon meeting a week, three AA, and one NA. All the guys who go to the NA meeting also go to AA. There's a CA meeting 100 kilometers away, and the nearest Naranon is 200 km away. We use what we've got, just part of adjusting to reality, I guess.
I make a point of mentioning drug use at alanon meetings, especialy when there are new people. This is a very small town, and I could see people being reluctant to bring up the fact that their A is really an addict. I figure if I say it, then they will feel that they can, too.
I understand your dilemma, P. I too find it difficult sometimes at alanon meetings because of the alcoholic/addict differentation. It also took me a long time to get over the stigma I thought was placed on me because of my addict being an addict and not just an "alcoholic". Crack cociane has a much different stigma attached to it than a 12 pack a day. Silly, huh? Really behaviors are behaviors. Is one more socially acceptable than others? Sure, because it's legal vs. illegal. But ultimately, the pain is the same. Addiction spans across cultural and socio-economic lines.....a friend at a meeting called it the great equalizer. I think that as a result the principals are the same. We work with what we have is true. I too have looked for naranon m,eetings in my area and there aren't any. To tell you the truth I wish there were more meetings PERIOD for both. I find that there are tons more AA meetings. But, again, I work with what I have. That's why this board is a blessing. I also feel that there are alot of people dealing with polyaddiction rather than straight alcoholism these days. Particularly in my age range ( I am 35). Just wanted to let you know we're out here too.
Relate to your problem, naranon meeting are far and few between. I also live in a small town with only one naranon meeting a week.
I have found that this site is great for either problem. My hub is an alcoholic and addict. I have met many people here who have the same problem. Have also met people who have family members who are just addicts.
For myself, I really don't see the difference. It is my own opinion that and addict is an additct to matter what the addiction.
I agree it is need, I do AA and NA to get a 12 step into my schedule. The AA and NA meetings are a lot of same people for the same reason. I know you don't have the tie right now to start a meeting so take what you can get and keep looking and keep reading.
Josey
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Julianne - It's best to move on. You cannot look back in anger in life. It's too short
Yes, we are out here! I'm another and I would hang my hat on there being a whole lot more.
I understand what your saying. I felt a little that way myself when I first came to al anon. I wasn't sure why I was going to al anon or why my husband was attending AA. My husband is a straight prescription drugs addict. So why AA/Al Anon? His answer was "you can't beat the successful history of AA". He felt right at home! At first I thought I might be breaking a rule or wasn't really supposed to even be there because my husband is an addict (not that my family's dysfunction due to alcoholic father and co-de mother would give me ANY reason to be there). My answer to why attend al anon and not the other anon is that drugs and alcohol are like comparing a Toyota to a Honda. Different names, but they both do the same thing. Alcohol is a drug. An addict is an alcoholic is an addict is an alcoholic is an addict.....their behaviors, stories intertwine to the point I really do not see a difference......AND my childhood family MAY have contributed a little too!
Since al anon is a program about me I have found as time goes on I do not think about "alcohol was not my husband's DOC". I am looking at me and not my addict. This is also coming from someone who is not living with active use. I don't have his DOC in my face on a day to day basis anymore. If I did it's possible I might feel differently and maybe would want to be in a room with those coping with drug use only. I don't know. In my experience I am lucky to have a lot of al anon meetings in my area and they are filled with a lot of variety which could also be a reason I don't feel out of place!
I've never been to naranon mtgs but I find thatlots of ppl in our on-line meetings have A's that are cross-addicted ~ also lots of us here are ACOA's which is one of the reasons I like it, personally.
When I was 17 my best friend became clean... and she plunged into the Program just like the addict she was, I often went to 3 mtgs a day w/ her. She carried her BB, 12 step/slogan book & a notebook which she wrote in incessantly everywhere.
I learned a lot in the A/NA mtgs with her. To me I see no difference in being an alkie, addict, work alholic, sex addict or food addict. My definition of the disease is wtvr you use to distract or disassociate yourself from your true feelings... is what they become addicted to, not feeeling themselves & the denial.
I think I've seen your name either in chat or at a meeting, you can make any reference to drug behavior you want, I think you'd find in a mtg, you would get a lot of ppl saying, 'they understand &/or relate.'
When my step-father was going to meetings, I think he did for about amonth or so, I encouraged him to try some NA mtgs. He made remarks himself. Maybe it is the "pure/true" alcoholics are the ones with the 'issue' and creating the stigma.
I have a book about drugs called From Chocolate to Morphine had it for years, if u want the author/ISBN #, PM me I'll look it up. Basically anything we 'need' every day & use to excess, is a drug & anything that changes our brain wave patterns/chemistry. Nicotine, sugar - haha - our brain waves change when you meditate too we go from 22 cycles @ beta or waking consciousness down to 7 at alpha - I wonder if we could get addicted to transcendatal meditiation? Maybe i ought to try it!
But seriously! I did feel some of that in AA meetings, maybe they are a bit self-righteous, maybe it's just our older-school society. Still, I think many here have the saem probelms w/ their A/addicts being just that.
To me I when I type "A" I often think adict in my mind, just cause again, for me there IS NO DIFFERENCE.
with love, -Kitty of Light
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
Hi Powerless. I'm really glad you brought this up. I have been attending Al-anon for about 5 and 1/2 years now. I live in the UK. In our area there are few Al-anon meets and without transportation (as I was when my A was still drinking) they were practically impossible for me to get to. I couldn't find any Naranon meets. Here it is called Families Anonymous. I went to an NA convention and attended a couple of FA meets. The focus was slightly different. I've also attended open AA and NA meets. Everyone was very welcoming to me and I now have personal friends in these programs and learnt a great deal about the disease but I don't think I would have found recovery for myself there.
I have noticed in AA here there is sometimes a bit of dissension from the 'true' AA's when speakers talk of their drug use even though they were dual or polyaddicted. I've heard talk about not 'diluting the program'. I have to admit I still don't understand, as to me, addiction is addiction. My A's primary DOC was alcohol but he also used drugs and as someone already mentioned, in my generation the two seem to walk hand in hand. My A put down the drugs relatively easily but couldn't stop drinking. Ironically, when he started attending AA and quit drinking he used dope instead, saying 'lesser of two evils'. Believing he couldn't 'just stop' and would find it easier to stop the dope later. He was obviously still sick and in fairness to him he didn't go to re-hab or have any medical supervision while he was detoxing. I knew very little about the disease from a medical point of view at this time and quite frankly am amazed he didn't kill himself. A cross-addicted person obviously noticed the signs and suggested NA to my A. I believe this is where his real recovery took off. The groups were smaller and he was encouraged to share. I mention his recovery as I believe it truly shows there are many paths to the top of the mountain and helps explain why I wasn't sure if Iwas Al-anon, FA or both.
For me personally, I found that if I mentioned drug use in my Al-anon groups I was gently but firmly discouraged. I was reminded of Tradition 3 'problem of ALCOHOLISM' and asked to keep the focus on our program and also asked not to 'dilute the program'. I wasn't sure if I was an interloper but figured there was definitely a problem with alcohol so I qualified and had a right to be there. I just changed my language so that I could still be honest and get some recovery for myself. As time goes by, I obviously try to keep the focus on me so the details of my A's addiction become a moot point but I did find his 'mood' and behaviours changed depending on whether it was drink or drugs. Ultimately, it didn't matter what caused his behaviours just how I dealt with or responded to them. I hope this helps, sorry its so long(oops), just trying to share my experience
I would also appreciate any further input on this subject as I don't know what to tell newcomers if their A's are cross-addicted or 'straight' addicts. I usually just share my experience with them outside of meeting time. I obviously don't want to harm the fellowship in any way but feel we should uphold the declaration of unity.
). My answer to why attend al anon and not the other anon is that drugs and alcohol are like comparing a Toyota to a Honda. Different names, but they both do the same thing. Alcohol is a drug. An addict is an alcoholic is an addict is an alcoholic is an addict.....their behaviors, stories intertwine to the point I really do not see a difference......AND my childhood family MAY have contributed a little too
!