The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Morning (((Kids)))! The list of what we learn is exciting. Take the first thing they tell us we'll learn. "Not to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other people." The way to learn that will require my participation in and commitment to the program. It's my job to do the learning. My particular brand of holier than thou has prevented me from taking responsibility for my self and my reactions, such is the nature of being taught to react and that woundedness (is that a word) as a state of integrity was a livable place. Alcoholism is a poor teacher. Today instead of reacting I will take a second to think and then respond if I feel one is necessary. I'm learning that not all comments, behaviors, gestures, stoney silences, etc. require a response from me. What a relief!? Thanks for being here.
So beautifully true geems. I love when we get to the parts that are hard and decide, you have no power over me, I no longer have to do what I've always done. Today is such a great gift thanks for the share.
Great reminder Geems. "Not Reacting" is the key to maintaining my serenity .
I had a terrific example of this last night at a Family Birthday dinner. I did not pollute the party environment with my judgments, criticism or sarcasm as I had done in the past, instead I used the Serenity Prayer often and a good time was had by all myself included. :)
Growing up with abuse and then emerged in addiction relationships did not teach me to have a self and make good decisions for me. I was drowning in the water, trying desperately to get out. For all the effort I made to change and influence others, all it did was make me sicker and sicker. It took alanon to show me the way to change myself, which did not make sense at first, but now I have a much better life. If my spouse continues to abuse herself with food and alcohol, after 20+ years of trying to change her, I now only try to change myself. I can be serene with the tidal wave around me. Amen. Thanks alanon, Lyne
Learning that I didn't and don't have to attend every argument I am invited to....absolute gold
(((Geems)))
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
The first 'aha' moment for me was the three C's. That gave me the ability to breathe deeply for the first time in a long, long while. And then - when I opened my mind, it seems things started peeling away and more soaked in. I love this topic and it really, really helped me to PAUSE and then often just be still. There was so much crazy-making around here that when I got quiet and just started pausing, praying, watching, observing, it became more and more clear to me that I had a part in all the craziness!
Great thread (((Geems))) - great awareness!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
thanks for the share.