The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My ABF also dabbles in prescription pills, but he rarely admits it to me. He says he will occasionally "pop a perk" but that it's not an all the time thing. Recently this summer I have noticed it has become more frequent. I have either found pills themselves, bottles, or messages. Just today a pill bottle fell out of our kayaks that was 80mg oxycodone and when I looked at him he flipped out on me, being very defensive. I let it go because I had no proof. But just as I was signing on the computer he'd left his facebook open and a message from his friend was right there in front of me where he was asking for money to be paid and my boyfriend asked him if he had "2 or 3 more of those". I want to confront him about it, but I don't know the best way to. I just wish he'd be honest with me, no matter how bad it is. He has no reason to lie to me. I don't understand why he chooses to make things up and keep things from me. Thoughts?
Alcoholics / drug addicts KNOW in their heart and I believe in their mind they are doing wrong - and they know when it's out of control - and when confronted they will lie to anyone and everyone until they are ready to get help. Don't take it personal that he lied to you. He wouldn't of been honest with anyone at this point and time.
I completely understand how you feel ---- try to remember it is the disease and his embarrassment of being conflicted with the disease that he has no control overs that cause him to lie to you. I honestly don't believe he does it intentionally to hurt you.
I, too, and "lucky" enough to not only deal with an AH but one that takes pills as well. Mine at least has a prescription but he lies all the time about how many he takes. He often claims that the pharmacy shorts him on pills. Or, he has no idea what happened to the pills, maybe the neighbors broke in and stole them. Really??? Alcoholics and addicts lie. That is all there is to it. I just was posting about stupid lies on another thread. I was saying how not long ago my AH left the house without telling me (I was in the bedroom.) I saw the lights from the car when he came back. I went out to meet him at the front door and asked him why hewent out after he had been drinking. He actually told me that the packagehe was carrying had just been in his car and he hadn't gone anywhere. Really??? My sarcastic self wanted to ask him where he kept the refrisgeratorin his car but the "learned" side of me told him that I saw the car lights so there was no need to lie. Point being, they lie about everything! I can't tell you what to do but I can say in my vast experience dealing with A's why bother asking when they are going to lie right to your face most times. Try to just let it go and focus on you!
Lying goes with the territory. They lie because they know they should not be doing it, and they don't want to be told or even hinted that they are doing wrong. They will deny it till the cows come home. Anyway, you already know what he's doing, sounds like. As the saying is, "He's going to do what he's going to do, what are you going to do?" Not saying that harshly! But it's all a reminder that the only one we can change is us, isn't it?
