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Enjoying my peaceful Sunday morning. Wanted to share some progress with you, AH was chatting away, I listened and then went off to do my own thing.
It is only now I am sat quietly enjoying a cup of tea I realise that AH was trying to manipulate me into doing something for him that he couldn't be bothered to do, pay for or take responsibility for. In reality completely his thing and financial obligation. I am pleased that my progress means that i automatically detached and did not get hooked in.
I notice when we do talk, there is usually a peppering within the conversation of manipulations or trying to offload his responsibilities onto me. Is pretty much there all the time. However now it bounces off me.
Very pleased.
-- Edited by Calm Lady on Sunday 4th of September 2016 05:02:05 AM
-- Edited by Calm Lady on Sunday 4th of September 2016 05:02:57 AM
Calm Lady - I love when I recognize my program in action. I often don't know in the moment, but like you, with some quiet focus, I can reflect and find extreme gratitude for the way this program works in my life.
I have to share a funny and perhaps ... it's one of those, "You needed to be here...." but this is an example of how my mind can be so crazy!!!
I am a creature of habit. I am anal and everything has a place. So, I walk my sweet Layla each morning and when we return, the leash, my earbuds, my shoes and socks all get put away together. Then - each morning, easy peasy - right?
So, this morning, we get ourselves together and all is present ... except the leash! Well - that is of course necessary to walk her. I look a bit while she's jumping up/down all around and just can not find it.
My mind immediately assumes my AH did something with it. After all, I am a creature of habit and yada-yada-yada. The good news, like most things, I have a Plan B - a second/new in package leash. So, I get the new one out and off we go.
While we are walking and I'm trying to converse with God, I am distracted by the missing leash. My mind keeps trying to remember if I did something with it, if he did something with it, where it could be, etc. I keep focusing and ... we finish the walk.
On the way back to the home, there is a AWESOME rainbow that is circular around the rising sun. I've never seen anything like it, and keep thinking I am seeing things as it was very faint. Anyway, I try to snap photos to share with my gal pals - we text all day every day. I get back home, and of course, start looking for the leash.
No go on all the logical places - *sigh* - so off to the next thing - to my car to get yesterday's mail from my front seat. GUESS WHAT? There is the darn leash - on top of the mail...
Yesterday, I had returned from the walk, walked straight through the house, and went to the store before I talked myself out of it. So - I left the dog in the house, but the leash ended up in the car. Even though I ended up putting my shoes and earbuds together at some point in the day, I had no recollection of taking the leash with me in the care.
My disease wanted to blame my AH. My disease wanted me to obsess over a stupid dog leash. My obsessions with all things 'right' pulled me away from a lovely rainbow to a dog leash. My program allowed me to work on this, and chuckle at myself now.
Gotta love the insanity of the disease and the miracle of recovery - right? (((Hugs))) to all!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Iamhere ~ Great story - wait til the day that you are on the phone with someone and trying to locate something while you are talking to them - you are opening drawers, cabinets, walking all through the house and the person on the phone says "Jojo what are you looking for????" and you reply with "my phone!!!!" - and the person on the other end says "uh Jojo check the side of your head - you're talking on it" - yep TRUE STORY!!!!! LOL
There is nothing like a cup of tea! Good for you, Calm Lady. I always enjoy reading your posts.
Great story, IAM! Turned the big 60 this summer. I am starting to accumulate a lot of those stories. Glad you didn't miss the rainbow entirely! Nice tie in to blaming and obsession. I also look forward to your posts.
Have a great day. Mid 80s and sun here today in western New York State ( can't just say NY, because the assumption is always New York City and we are hundreds of miles from there)!
JoJo - ha.ha.ha.ha......I will have to admit - already there! I have 3 things I collect from my car - my e-cig., my phone & my keys. I can't tell you how many times I am looking for the third and I am yacking away on the darn phone....
Same weather here Ellen - it's about 7x now going up to low-mid 80s. Great sunshine for an outdoor wedding! I am in jean shorts & tee - getting ready to put on a dress - a rare occasion that I put on a dress, but am doing so for the wedding.
This is a recovery wedding. It's being held outside our 'little house' between the AFG home and a small church! We set up chairs after the meeting and will all collect for the ceremony in a few hours. I love seeing the many miracles of recovery - big, small, in-between!
(((Hugs))) to all - make it a great day!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Iamhere ~ Great story - wait til the day that you are on the phone with someone and trying to locate something while you are talking to them - you are opening drawers, cabinets, walking all through the house and the person on the phone says "Jojo what are you looking for????" and you reply with "my phone!!!!" - and the person on the other end says "uh Jojo check the side of your head - you're talking on it" - yep TRUE STORY!!!!! LOL
Jojo---I have done the same thing so many times! Lol
Thank you for sharing this story. It really made me feel better about how ridiculous I can be sometimes, blaming my AH and the disease for everything, even when I may have been in the wrong or done something silly ...
