The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
i have been reading on line and thought about all the al-anon tools:
1. Do not react
2, Detach and let them be
3. Have a plan B,C,D, when the active alcoholism gets bad and you have to leave for your sanity, either to a friends, a hotel, family, shelter, anywhere safe
4. Do not JADE Justify, Argue, Defend, Engage with active alcoholism
5. Put yourself first not the alcoholic..your mental, emotional, physical, spiritual well being first
6. Get to a meeting and be around supportive people who understand
7. journal-write all your feelings, fears, worries, anger out
8. Pray, stay calm and think of the bigger picture-you, your well being and your future
9. Get out of the house if the active alcoholism is intolerable and your safety is at risk or call the police
10. Do not take what the alcoholic say personally and do not believe in promises made. Look at the action instead. Is what he says and what he does consistent?
11. Do not trust the active alcoholic to keep promises. The only promise guaranteed is a drunk of all drunks
12. The active alcoholic has to hit their own bottom and there is nothing you can do to make her/him stop the drinking. They have to want sobriety.
13. Focus on yourself and do what you must to keep your sanity
14. Do not listen to the active alcoholic talk, lies, BS. Let him/her suffer consequences of their action
15. Walk away to a safe place till the drunken binge is over.
16. Have a safety bag ready if you need to leave immediately from the drunk
17. Walk away after saying your piece
18. Love yourself with a passion so what the alcoholic says or does will not effect you
19. Let things unfold as it should, its god's plan not yours
20. Take one day, one minute at a time and do not project into the future as its unknown. Who knows were we will be in 5 years down the road
21. Do not allow yourself to be sucked into the insanity. He/she will go down the drain due to their using, why go down with them? Its their problem, not yours.
22. PUT YOURSELF AND GOD FIRST.
If there is other inputs, please add. These are ones that I had at the top of my head.
Joker - as Al-Anon is about focusing on us vs. them, I would remove all the ones about the alcoholic, and replace them with learning how to detach with love. Learning how to set boundaries too. All that you mention with them in the title is focusing beyond you.....these two would/could replace all of them.
Just some input - take what you like and leave the rest!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
