The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My mom is 58 Years old and was brought to the hospital unresponsive 3 weeks ago by her boyfriend. My mom has Bi-polar disease and had been self medicating with alcohol for years. I am her only child and to say our relationship has been confusing is an understatement. She was a great mother until my parents divorced when I was 5 years old. At that point she developed a drug addiction to methaphetimes and was in and out of jail. My childhood was pretty traumatic until my dad took me into custody at age 9. She always loved me, but she had so many demons. I was always the parent. The past 10 years or so she turned to alcohol and stopped taking her bi-polar meds. I live 150 miles away from her, so I can't always check up on her. But she has been on a slow downward sprial for years. She has always denied drinking to me, and gets angry when I would bring it up. Well this past May I finally had to cut communications with her because she was so drunk and verbally abusive and refused to let me see her. She wouldn't even tell me where her boyfriend lived. i hadn't talked to her for 2 months and then I get the call from her mother (my grandmother) that she is ICU. She was on a ventilator for 2 weeks and on a feeding tube. They removed it last weekend, and she was alert and able to somewhat speak. However it became apparent how bad she had damaged her brain from drinking. She has no short term memory and doesn't remember some things that happened a long time ago like her own sister passing away. She is very of it, and keeps asking for a drink. She can't swallow, and the doctors have told me it's time to start comfort care because she won't make it. Her body is so swollen from edema because of her damaged liver it is horrible. She just wants to go home, and I now at the age of 33 have to make the decision on if she should be kept alive or not. I choose comfort, her body is failing and I can't see her go through the this anymore. I pray she passes in a deep sleep; and i pray she has forgiven herself for everything she felt so guilty for. Please pray for this for her, that's all I ask. God bless and thank you all, ,---Lauren
(((Lauren))) - welcome to MIP. So glad you found us and glad that you shared. I am sending prayers for you and her and any other in your family. May you feel our support and love and know that we're just a post away.
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I can relate to your post, and I will pray for your mom and you. My spouse is 64, continues to drink, and is at a life threatening weight. I imagine I will be writing a post just like yours one of these days. I understand addiction is a disease, but it is a disease for which there is tons of help. So as my A chooses not to get help, I must detach, I must be strong, and I need to take a path that is good for me. Still, it is so very sad. So many lives destroyed and wasted. Lyne
