The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
and why am I terrified? Hello, I'm new here.. My life is a roller coaster and I'm sick of it! I am not the type to reach out and go to meetings but I feel I need to in my life. I know of a meeting in my area and every Sunday I say I'm going to go.. I don't.
My fear takes over me!! I feel like I don't belong.. I grew up in alcoholic home, My husband is an A, my mom, sisters, extended family, and including me.. I am not so much actively a drinker but I have that attitude I guess you can say. everyone around me likes to drink-a lot. I'm just sitting here seeing its effects on everyone and its making me sick and hopeless of life.. I have to be strong one.. I have 3 kids and they need to see me OK. so I am always hiding my emotions and trying to act strong but inside I am a mess.
I'd like some peace now.. any suggestions? How do I Not feel like embarrassed and ashamed of myself to go for help. I am so scared I'd rather keep putting it off.
This was even hard for me, I would love to open up more. TY!!!
You just need to show up at the face to face meeting
You do not need to say a word until you are ready to do
So, i just sat listened, learned and absorbed for a long
Time and i cried often.
Thats mainly what happens with newcomers not always,
you can purchase The three daily readers, there is usually
a lending library, some Meetings give away how alanon works
Book and there are free pamphlets.
Many that were fearful laughed at themselves afterward for
Their fear of not going. We all have been where you are, it
Gets easier as you work the program. Its like watching a bud
Open up as we grow and get more sure footed and find some
Inner peace.
Welcome to MIP Jen - so glad you found us and so glad that you shared. Mirandac is absolutely right - you do not have to speak or do anything beyond show up. I do realize that there is fear of asking for help, fear of going, fear of strangers and probably more. However, keep in mind that we are a family of equals. We all come together because we've had issues or are having issues resulting from alcoholism in a family member or a friend. The disease itself is powerful and progressive. It is considered a family disease as almost everyone in the family is affected by it.
It's usually one hour - I told myself in the beginning that I could do anything for an hour! And.....got myself out the door and to the meeting. Al-Anon has changed my life, my attitude, my outlook and my joy/serenity - it's so worth it!
Keep coming back - you are not alone and there is help and hope in recovery no matter what others are/are not doing.
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I had to reach my bottom (like the A) before I reached out for help. I went to my first meeting last March and believe me it was the best step that I made. My AH was really a little over a year ago and he finally found sobriety. I too grew up in a family of As. I do hope you find the courage to go. I think you will find the support that you need. Please keep coming back too as this board is just the best. Sending you many prayers and positive thoughts.
Something I do when I am reluctant to go somewhere is to tell myself that I only have to stay for 5 minutes and then can leave whenever I choose to. I plan to sit near the door so I can leave unobtrusively. Honestly I believe that once you get into the meeting and see how welcoming it is, you will want to stay, but it is always good to know we have a choice.
How do I Not feel like embarrassed and ashamed of myself to go for help. I am so scared I'd rather keep putting it off.