The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's c2c speaks about how living in the chaos of alcoholism can bring us to the point where we can't tell the difference between an inconvenience and a crisis; we can tend to react dramatically all the same.
The slogan 'how important is it" is suggested to try to regain perspective and bring us back int the moment (instead of doing what many of us do and start projecting catastrophes miles into the future). It suggests asking how important is it...is it important enough to give away my serenity?
"It is almost as important to know what is not serious as to know what is". (John Kenneth Galbraith)
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You know as true as this is, I have to say that it went in 2 directions at once for me; I would over-react and dramatise the small stuff, but when the true crises happened, for example if I was in danger or something really awful was happening, I would find myself quite numb, calm, and unaffected. Talk about a distorted sense of 'how important is it"! I'm glad to have things much more in balance now and "is it worth my serenity" is a powerful and very useful question to ask myself when I find myself losing it over something that might be completely insignificant if I take the time to think about it!
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Thank you so much for sharing this page and your ESH, Missmeliss; such a great reminder for me. Alanon helped me realize that I tend to react to an issue as it relates to the extent it deviates from what I think should be, rather than the level of importance it holds in world and my existence.
This is something that I continue to work on, and a great topic for me to focus on this week. I will remember that my serenity is at stake, and giving it away is a choice.
I appreciated todays ODAT that also reminded me: People can affect me only as I allow them to...The solutions rest with us...It does not depend on any other person, and the sooner I accept this fact, the sooner I will be able to face myself realistically.
Such great wisdom in the program and the fellowship, I am so grateful
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Today's reading is powerful and rings true in my life too! Thanks for the ESH above me - it gives me reason to pause. I too was a reactive person, and my reaction rarely had to do with what was in front of me but rather my own sense of right/wrong. The program gave me the wisdom to realize what is important to me (my values) is not necessary right for all and what is important to others (their values) can be respected even if/when they are different than mine.
The gift of pause allows me to stop and realize I am in control of how I let others' actions, words, etc. affect me. I can sit in the middle of a storm, and remain calm and God-centered if I want to. I no longer need to give anyone else the power to take my serenity away. My happiness, actions and reaction have nothing to do with another person - it has everything to do with me. I can honestly say that for me, just for today, my answer to how important is it anyway is simple - nothing is as important to me today as my own peace of mind and joy.
Make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Great point. Good reading. I have definitely learned how to relax about making mountains out of molehills. But, I don't know when to recognize that something is bigger and I need to act. I'm not sure how to have faith anymore.
