The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well, I did it. Today, I took possession of my apartment. I went and done the inspection and I can move in anytime. I came home yesterday, the alcoholic was in bad shape. He had not eaten in 5 days, weak, diarrhea and still drinking. The house looked like a bomb went off. The bathroom was beyond disgusted. I cleaned up and fed the alcoholic some food and gave him some sleeping pills and put him to bed. He was so weak he could hardly walk. Very, Very sad. He asked what day it was and I told him Thursday, he thought it was still Tuesday. He has been sitting at home and drinking and drinking 24 hours a day all alone. He has been in contact with his ex-wife Donna who has driven him to the liquor store. I have refused to give him any money. NO, NO. I had a discussion with the alcoholic and said I am doing the inspection for the apartment today and getting the keys. I left and followed through. I had to sign a 6 month agreement but could break the agreement within the 6 month for a fee. I came back and told the alcoholic I signed a 6 month agreement and I will stay here at the house with him but if he does not seek recovery and there is no changes and I see he has gone back to drinking, I will leave, now that I have a place of my own. He was agreement with the plan. When he is sober, he is amazing person that I love dearly. Today, he is sober and sleeping, as he is very weak and tired. I am just letting him be. I am so happy with my plan B. I know have a place I can go to anytime day or night and find peace. I said to him, I will not move my belongings into the apartment unless, he starts drinking. If he does, I will move all my belongs in and he will have to live on his own here. He says he needs help and had been sober before for 13 years and in the last 5 years, relapsed bad. He knows about recovery and said this time, he will seek help of AA. Talk is cheap. I do not expect follow through but I know for me, I have a place now. I have also discussed that I will take all my belongs to the apartment and the bedding and everything else I need to make a home for myself there. I am happy with my decision and know that I no longer have to tolerate his drunkenness anymore. I have the power set up at the apartment but have cable, internet and phone here at the house here. If things go bad, I know what I have to do. Disconnect and move it to my apartment. I know this will financially be challenging but I have to do this for my sanity. I can not live with a drunk anymore. I have tried and tried but its impossible. I have to look after me now and now that I have a place of my own, I am happy, free. I no longer have to be afraid! Just wanted to share my good news. Time will tell if I move my belongs to the apartment or not. It will depend of the alcoholic, if he drinks, I am gone!
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene