The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I don't know if I should be impressed with myself or scared as all get out. I have a very active schedule at the moment and the magic word seems to be no .. not no thank you .. just NO. LOL!
The whole dating thing has been entertaining is putting it mildly .. I'm coming to a point where I feel like I need to take a break from the dating site I'm on. I have enough activity to keep me in trouble for a while .. lol. It has been an experience is putting it mildly.
Some of the things I have learned are:
That I actually do not communicate as well as I think I do
My boundaries are good there is definite tweaking that needs to happen
I enjoy feeling like a girl, younger is not always better however it sure is fun .. lol
I have a right to have something just for me
Truly accepting people where they are is an art form, not a given (this is my struggle)
There are a lot of lonely people in the world
People make simple things extremely complicated
(Some) Men are stupid (sorry guys love you however there are some men that say things from behind a computer or phone that they would never have the balls to say in person .. ick .. and it's taught me how to slice and dice in ways that elicit both an apology and sometimes a decent conversation)
I am truly a funny person
I can be myself and be ok with that regardless of what someone else thinks
I only have to know my intension other people are going to do what they are going to do
I still got it .. LOL .. whatever "it" is .. I manage to have it
Some people take joy in other people's pain which is incredibly sad
People are not always who they say they are
You better have a REALLY warped sense of humor to deal with the lack of decorum
Men have no qualms asking for naked pictures and sending said naked pictures, I have gotten hit with a video no less (that is one that the eyeballs popped out of my head I did NOT watch .. the conversation was done, video deleted .. LOL). I am now teased by my girlfriends that I am all that and a bag of chips that a man would honor me with a video ..
I have multiple alias's based upon if I feel someone is a fake account or not .. that can bite you in the butt if you wind up finding out the guy is a real boy and not a fake account .. true story .. I warned the kids if we are ever out and they hear someone say Athena or Lucy just keep on walking do not make eye contact.
There are men who are convinced I currently work for the FBI/CIA as my night job and I have resources to make their lives miserable if they continue to keep up with their act. I know I'm really, really bad sometimes .. lol.
Regardless of what is or is not going on I am ok with the journey and far less focused on the destination. Although from time to time I have to be reminded to burn the wedding dress. At the moment it seems to be a pillow .. LOL .. it gets taken out; thank GOD for good girlfriends who we smack each other with the pillow and ask what the hell are you thinking!?
I'm looking forward to an afternoon of fishing and evening watching the Texas stars sometime next week.
Thank God for my program and the gifts of what it has given me because without this program I would have been in another hot mess of a relationship, now I may still find myself there at least I'm more open to the idea that again .. I always have choices.
Hugs S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Hi S. It sounds as if you have honed your sense of humor to a fine point. :) You really made me giggle. It is evident that you are participating in life and gaining wisdom about who you are and what you want. Great use of Program Tools.
Thanks for sharing the journey.
I don't understand naked pictures either S. Truly, I don't get what the reaction is supposed to be, my poor nineties child brain just boggles. I laughed at Athena Lucy and warning the kids, you sound very soc media savvy.
Love the shares, you sound like a happy life traveller overall.
I too laughed a bit.....it sounds as if you are having true joy - what a gift! It's amazing how much we can learn about ourselves and others just by participating in life on life's terms. Keep working it girl and keep having fun! So glad that your exploring new things and new ways......(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Oh boy, haha! I do remember the dating sites and how many men send what you believe would be a face picture to be a Different picture altogether and no that is not okay to me either. Yes, a sense of humor is a must and dating isn't easy, I really screened men before agreeing to meet anyone and got lucky with my man on Zoosk all the free sites didn't have many serious men I found. I am glad your sense of humor is alive and well in this process and also glad to hear your al-anon tool bag is helping you enjoy the journey. Trying to enjoy the journey and not rush to the destination is an art I am still trying to perfect. Keep on keeping on sister.
-- Edited by Breakingfree on Friday 5th of August 2016 09:27:02 AM
-- Edited by Breakingfree on Friday 5th of August 2016 09:27:29 AM
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
You sound like the the kind of person I want to be!! I have all the elements but no where near enough Alanon behind me to be there yet!!
Strange! I prayed to my HP to send me a message of his path for me in my 'it's complicated' relationship with one of the alcoholics in my life!! Thanks for sharing and allowing my god to speak through you today!!
Great self-inventory, Serenity! I agree, the dating scene is a whole new ballgame to those of us who haven't played in awhile : )
And I used an alias, as well as a Google Voice phone number, until I felt safe enough to share my real phone number with the guy I'm currently dating. I also worked to make sure to not say or do anything that was outside of my comfort zone (boundaries that I have now established since Al-Anon).
Hahaha, funny post and I also found out some of this too. It is fun, especially when your in the reality of it and can accept people for who they are and also keep yourself safe. lol. What is Athena and Lucy?
I took Athena and Lucy to be her alias names while remaining incognito for the online dating - I might be wrong though but that's how I read it....
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
LOL .. OK .. so the catfishers follow a script and when I am in a really ornery mood I will do whatever I can to throw the catfishers and I have a pretty good radar. LOL .. except one time in which he is a very lovely man. THAT'S a funny story actually.
So depending on what site I am on this is how I know it's a catfisher .. Hi Pretty. I love to meet you and know more you. What do you call yourself? It's very bizzaro language in terms of someone who is not operating room of having good use of the English language. They try to move you off of the site quickly going to either phone texting, kik, yahoo messenger, some form that is not on the site. The declarations of love start almost immediately. Oh you so my soul mate, I am employed in contract work and am deployed in blah blah. Ok so there is my example of what to look for .. unfortunately they are getting smarter and better at the game.
When they ask for my name I have been known often to say Athena. What usually follows is a sheer game of cat and mouse .. me being the cat .. LOL. I go into the history of my ancestry, how I am my great-great-great-great-grandmother's name sake to a T and that Zeus grants me the same privilege that He granted his daughter of being the only Olympian God to play with Zeus's lightening bolts. He has such guilt for eating her mother. Oh it gets so comical it is about scary .. normally the response is Okay .. LOL.
Lucy is my heroine in terms of what she does .. LOL .. I do some of those things!!!
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
LOL, I really enjoyed your post and remembering the adventure of online dating. The biggest lesson was learning that people are in these sites with all kinds of agendas. Beware of the ones whose profiles say "I won't settle." LOL Hope you enjoy the break from it. I found it overwhelming after awhile too. Not taking it too seriously does help. Nice to hear you're having fun with it. TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
In 1999, I dated a man I met through a dating service. I was 37 and he was 47. He had a complex about his age even then. In 2014, my sister mentioned she was communicating with someone online, same name. She showed me his profile. It was 15 years later, and now I was 52, and he was 49. To top it off, the major characteristic he was looking for in a partner was "honesty." LOL.
