The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi, I am in an a great relationship with man dedicated to his recovery. We have been together for two years. He has been sober for 5 years after a relapse that destroyed his marriage, his career and a somewhat fancy lifestyle. As our relationship progressed he has become more and more open with me about his addiction and recovery, but I have no previous experience with addiction. I've taken a Hermione Granger approach and have tried to read and research, but I still don't really get it on a visceral level. Is attending an Al-Anon meeting appropriate for me since I have not been directly affected by his addiction as I have only known him post recovey? Thanks for any insights.
Hello Christine Welcome Yes alanon face to face meetings would be extremely helpful as will the literature and support you will receive. Keep coming back here as well- You are not alone
Hello Christine and I too welcome you to MIP. I agree with Betty - it would be helpful. You can always give it a try and if you don't find it helpful, step away - it's completely voluntary, and you don't have to speak or do anything but just show up.
Keep coming back - the disease is truly never cured; just arrested through abstinence and usually a recovery support system of some type.
Glad you are here!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Welcome, Christine. I too encourage you to attend AlAnon meetings. It is there I learned how to live a more full life than I had changed into while living with an addict. My coping techniques were twisted, and I'm able to recognize what doesn't work. I am more true to myself. It was by attending meetings, reading and practicing that I slowly grew into a more genuine self. I no longer twist myself into pretzels to keep the peace or to go along. Unpredictably, my relationship is better. More important, I like me better.
Give it a try, but understand progress is slow and sometime zig-zaggy.
I think it would help you learn about recovery and just give you more supports of your own. Do it for you though. Sounds like he is already doing well with trying to be honest, up front and talking about his recovery. It may not be anything you need to "figure out" if you are happy together.
