The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi. I was just told I am an adult child. that explains a lot. I am not in a current relationship rhe last one was very painful, I have a history of abuse. I want to get better.
I keep hearing people say 'take care of yourself'. They talk about being healthy and young looking and so on.
Cmound anyone tell me what it means to take very good care of myself? thank you.
Iwmlb - welcome to MIP Al-Anon family group - glad you found us and glad you posted. I believe there is also a ACOA discussion area here - not been on it so can't speak to the members, the activity, etc.
Taking care of myself to me means going to meetings, putting me first, gentle with myself, accepting my humanisms, etc. Exercising, eating properly, socializing, etc. Often the disease of alcoholism teaches us way different means of getting through life and we often find we put others in front of ourselves.
HTH - keep coming back!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hi IWMLB.
Taking care of myself is about making sure I attend to my own needs as my priority and then to others only if they ask, or it's appropriate.
This sounds simple to a lot of people but for me (and many others here) it was a real learning process as my old way of doing things was to only look for what I thought others needed, and constantly try to give it to them (whilst completely neglecting my own physical/emotional/spiritual needs). I'd then feel sad and resentful when people didn't look after me in a similar fashion (which made me even more miserable).
I don't know if that sounds at all familiar to you but that's how it worked for me.
__________________
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Welcome Iw To me taking care of myself means that I amconstantly checking in with myself, to see how i am feeling.
if i am hungry , I eat, angry, I process the anger and then learn the lessons and move on, lonely, I contact a friend or go to a meetings, tired I sleep. I do not blame others for my failings make asset and gratitude lists to restore my self esteem. Pray and meditate to rebuild my spiritual nature, Keep an open mind, live one day at a time by not projecting to the future or reliving the past.
Keep coming back.
I really like those explanations. I understand a lot better now. In my meetings I don't hear people say how they do it. I'm glad I found you all. Does taking care of myself and attending to my own needs, does that mean if I'm in a apartment where there's a flood and I'm not feeling good, that I have a right to take the landlord to court and replace my things? I'm feeling scared and guilty about this. He's a nice person but didn't have insurance. This seems like my first test in taking care of myself? I'm curious because I think never standing up for myself has got me here in the first place.
Not blaming other people is very confusing to me.
Taking care of myself means that I check how I am feeling,and listen to the small voice within If you have been flooded out and the land lord is responsible thenin most cases seeking reimbursement for damages is taking care of yourself.
My girlfriend is an alcoholic and she's in rehab, I am having a hard time dealing with it. Some days she is so nice and other days she is saying hurtful things. I'm not sure how to handle the situation when things get that way. I feel anytime she's upset she uses me as a human punching bag by saying meanful things. For example I have a learning disability and she always throws it in my face.
Welcome. that is a good question. When I joined Al anon I remember thinking the same thing when people told me to take good care of myself. I thought it meant just giving myself anything I wanted at that time so I smoked, I was addicted to sugar so would eat chocolate whenever I wanted, lounge about and call it resting, lol, I was taking care of myself like a big spoilt child. Then I learned it was about going to the dentist, the doctor, eating better, stopping smoking, which I did, its been almost 4 yrs, I joined the gym, I started wearing nail varnish, make up, going to the hairdresser regularly etc, then the ultimate taking care of myself has been a change in my attitude and behaviour, so I try to be kind and pleasant to every human I meet and that is me taking care of my mind.
It seems like a tall order but after some time in recovery I began to regain self respect and I wanted to improve every aspect of my life and it kind of began to happen naturally. When I began listening to the words spoken to me by old timers like, your worth it, you deserve a good life, be kind to yourself.
So glad your here. I suggest claiming your seat at your nearest meeting and go and get that good stuff. For me it all began with the little card called 'Just for Today' Good luck
