The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well, I can see some progress on my part. Feels like 2 steps back and 1 forward some days, but I can pause before responding and decide whether I will use my al-non tools or not.
AH has been in a lazy mode lately. Drinking is up and down. Some productive days around the house or errands (he's retired with no outside hobbies, besides drinking and smoking). The last couple of days he has been plopped in front of the tv just about from morning till night. I have not said a word. I have been in and out and tending to my own chores and activities. I am newly retired from my full time job and had the conversation with him a while ago that I would not sit and watch him watch tv. Not happening. We all have different ideas of what retirement will look like for us and he has continged what he learned from his parents' retirement: cocktails and tv from noon on. No thank you.
Today he's got a little oomph going and he is working outside. I had already been out and was sitting with my tablet and here came all his comments and cracks about how I just sit around with my tablet all the time. Haaa! I usually accomplish 15 things to his 1-2 things. However, I would not rise to the bait. I would not. I just kept doing my thing with a pleasant face and let his foolish words stand on their own.
In the past I would have pulled out a pie chart and graphs to show what I do, but there is no need. Instead of blowing up, I had a little inward chuckle, along with a thank you to my HP for my restraint and him getting off his duff!
This fair cheered me up. Lol. I love pie charts and bar graphs. You should have brought it out just for the joy of it. Lol. Also like the word duf, I'm assuming that's his bahookie?
I personally like both terms - both are new to me! I appreciate the share - small successes and steps in the right direction of recovery always brighten my day! I hope you realize the miracle of your growth - one day at a time!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
