The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am new to Al-Anon. But it seems like a place that will help me be a better me. I have been verbally abused, controlled, and manipulated by an alcoholic for five and half years. We have been married almost 4 years. We have a beautiful son together. From another relationship, I have a daughter who is 16. She often would overhear the verbal abuse. My husband is Latino and has issues with me being white. He throws it in my face often. In his eyes, it is a sin. He is so critical and horrible. I beg and cower to appease him because I am in love with him. I can't explain why. I am a very well educated woman and would be appalled if someone told me my story. My husband recently left the home. He left it and is offering no financial support. One minute he says he loves me and wants to work on our marriage and the next minute he tells me he is filing for divorce. I am exhausted, scared, demoralized, financially strapped and afraid for my future. I don't know if my husband is drinking all the time or if he is trying to be sober. I was dealt a sad, confusing deck of cards, and I am in a dark hole slowly dying from despair all because of this horrible disease: Alcoholism.
Welcome Gina There is hope and help available for you. I agree alcoholism is a dreadful chronic, progressive, fatal disease .It must be noted that this disease can be arrested but never cured and we are powerless over it. We did mot cause it, cannot control it and cannot cure it..
As you stated ,we who live with the disease do develop many negative coping tools in order to cope with the insanity of this disease and because of this we require a program of recovery of our own. Alanon is that program . Face to Face meetings are held in most communities and the hot line number is found in the white pages. I urge you to attend
In addition there are hot line numbers for woman support groups nationwide that might be helpful Here are the numbers:
National Resource Center for Domestic Violence: 1-800-537-2238 US Domestic Violence Hotline/ General Information: 1-800-799-7233
You are not alone please search out the support and attend
Welcome to MIP Gina - so glad that you found us and that you shared. I am truly sorry that the disease has affected you and your family as it has. Alcoholism is a progressive disease, and it's also considered a family disease. This is so because it reaches out and affects just about everyone in the family unit.
We all deserve to live with peace and joy. The disease tries to take that away in tons of different ways. I agree with Betty that you should seek help/support from any resources you can find. I found my peace and sanity in the program of Al-Anon. There were others who understood and offered me their ESH (Experience, Strength & Hope) to help me recover from the affects of this disease.
Keep coming back - there is help and hope and you are not alone!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
((((GINA)))) WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY :) You are in the Right Spot ;)
Yes Alcoholism is a Horrible Disease, that does indeed Drag us down... I Can Relate to A lot of what you have Mentioned for my Afather was an Alcoholic, and he was Very Brutal in the Verbal Abuse when it came to my Mom and the "Other" Women in his Life... It is really tough to build confidence and Self worth when sitting in the boiling water of someone else's disease of addictions...
BUT... Like mentioned Above, You are in the Right Place for Healing... Keep Coming back here, Sharing, Readings & hearing the words, and Yes, if there is an Al-Anon Face to Face meeting in your Area, Please Look it up, and check them out... Great Support is here, as well as there... We Can't Cure, Control or Cause their Disease, but we Can HEAL Ourselves thru the 12 steps of Recovery...