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Not sure where to start. My adult daughter has been to rehab 4 times. She has been an alcoholic since she was a teenager. She has been sober for the past couple of years but I fear she has relapsed Again. As a single woman, she socializes with drinkers. She seems to get along okay, then all of sudden she decides she should be able to drink like everyone else. She belongs to AA, but recently stopped attending meetings. Why does this keep happening? Does anyone else have experience like this with an adult child? I cannot live through any horrible situations again. I'm an Al Anon member and need some guidance here.
Welcome back to MIP mom - so sorry for what brings you. I posted in your first share about my experience, strength and hope. For my life, what has changed is me and my outlook. Not much has changed for them, but I've learned in this program to let go and let God. The best service you can give to your daughter is to work your program using the tools and steps and learn to detach with love. The three C's come to mind - we did not cause this, we can not control this and we can not cure this.
Keep coming back - it works when we work it and we're worth it!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hi HelplessMom I can so identify and understand your pain and anxiety. I agree with "IAH ". We are powerless over this dreadful disease so that he best we can hope for is to take care of ourselves in a healthy fashion and turn our most loved children over to God.
Attending alanon meetings on a daily basis helped me weather that storm and today I am so grateful for the support of this powerful program.
Please keep taking care of yourself and keep coming back.
I can understand your concerns.
I can also understand the desire to fix someone else.
Lately I have been looking at what I find attractive about alcoholics and some of it is they don't live in reality!!!
So my new task is to make reality really fun.
Maresie
I learned in program that an enabler will relapse right along side the alcoholic/addict and I went on to self acknowledge it myself. When my alcoholic/addict wife relapsed I would throw away what was being given to me in Al-Anon and return to my old non-working enabling behaviors. "The program doesn't work" I'd scream and until by listening I really heard "it doesn't work when I'm not working it". Great for me that the next voices I hear came from with in the rooms of Al-Anon and the fellowship. "Let Go and Let God", "Admitted I was powerless and that my life had become unmanageable". "STOP!!" "When in doubt....DON'T" and so many more.
Are you relapsing?? Do an inventory with your sponsor and bring it up in a meeting listening with an open mind. Keep coming back this works when you work it. (((hugs)))
-- Edited by Jerry F on Sunday 24th of July 2016 12:35:47 PM
Alcoholics can be really smart in many/most areas, but most of us are dumb and blind to our sickness when not engaging in recovery activity actively. It is bizarre. We convince ourselves it was life/just circumstances being sucky at the time of the last bottom and it wasn't really alcohol and things are different now. Forgetting alcohol is what has made life sucky at all the other bottoms... So then we drink until life is sucky again. Ick. Been there...done that. Sorry this is happening with your daughter.
