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I do not know the psychiatric reason for the need of the disease to isolate the family, but I think it is because the disease needs to be in control and the fewer people who sees it and interacts with it - the better. There can be less judgment and criticism from them.
I know I isolated from family and friends when living with the disease because I did not want them to know what was going on in my life.
While active in the disease, I did not want to isolate the family - I wanted to hide from them. Reasons are exactly as Betty described - I did not want them to see what was going on in my life. As the mother/wife of qualifiers, I see much the same - they want to hide or distance themselves from all that is normal, so that can include the house, the family, extended family, holidays, etc. Much for the same reason - they don't want others to know what they are truly up to.
That's my E......
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I think there are a significant portions of drunks that have disdain for society and feel like they dont fit in and think it will be better if they live in the country away from "all those jerks." This then lets them drink with less social feedback and need to fit in mainstream society. Family may go along...unwittingly, not reLizing alcoholism flourishes in greater secrecy. Other than that, alcoholics will often try and belittle a spouses friends and family so they wont receive feedback to leave and to make them more dependent on them (conscious and subconsciously I think).
I thought it might be linked with shame. Thata what made me Isolate myself. Ashamed of the chaos and dysfunction I instinctively knew wasn't right. Not having answers or power to change things as I believed I just wasn't working hard enough to fix it. So ashamed of my life, ashamed of my failure, ano and thing was my self pity. I thought those who knew me should do more, rescue me and when they didn't I harboured resentment. I was also jealous and felt inferior of the lives of others as I thought everyone had a better life. Allbthia closed me to people x
I experienced that fear was the reason for that...the fear that the family would find out things and move off from the usual support and also the fear of the loss of power over the family as has been mentioned before. The biggest emotional character defect was fear of and fear from. (((hugs)))
For me the isolation was about control. Abandonment is a big issue with alcoholics. They both abandon and are abandoned.
Alcoholics in general are pretty dependent. They depend on others because alcohol consumes such a large part of their lives. If you are dependent you.do not want to think the people you depend on will leave you.
Maresie
I agree with Betty that the disease wants the path of least resistance and that means no one to confront or hold the A accountable for the condition they are most comfortable in. I think it feels safer to be in a cocoon while they drink than to be around those who may judge them. I think it is all part of the merry go round of alcoholism. As family of the alcoholic we definitely don't want the A out there in the public eye because they embarrass us and get in to too much trouble.
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Bethany
"Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be." Abe Lincoln
