The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for July 17 speaks about being enmeshed with other people's activities and behavior. When we do this, we lose sight of the idea that we could be happy even if others are depressed or unhappy. When we finally realize that we will have to learn to make it even if the alcoholic does not, that becomes an important turning point.
From that day on, we must try to keep in mind that we have our own life and our own destiny. Once we begin to separate our welfare from that of others we find it easier to detach from the decisions that they make on how they conduct their lives. Because my fate in my very life is no longer tied directly to theirs, I could accept the were in listen to them with an open mind.
The quote is from Al-Anon for the Adult Children of Alcoholics; "as I continue to practice putting the focus on myself. It is a relief to see. I can let go of others problems instead of trying to solve them."
Important reminder for me today. I find myself so emeshed in my child's life/behaviour/moods that I lose sight of anything else. Then I get angry with her because focusing on her behaviour all the time makes me unhappy.
I obviously have an important role in guiding her and helping her achieve what she needs but when i am obsessed with putting a smile on her face, or working out why she looks unhappy I'm not helping anyone. I need to remember that she's as entitled to be a grumpy person just like anyone else is.
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Thanks for today's reading Betty and your service + ESH! You too MissMel - I am resisting getting sucked into the drama/chaos that my boys seems to create at times. I get frustrated with me and my program how easily I can get distracted from my life, my joy and my plans by their 'things'. One is truly quite serious but there is nothing I can but offer to be of service. The other is so unimportant and ridiculous to me that it takes all I got to not say this out loud!
The good news - I've had a weekend full of softball, meetings, fellowship and still more softball tonight. I've been able to keep doing my thing but my mind is certainly distracted and I want my normal back. It is hotter than hot here and I have a headache badly! I am hydrating from 2 days out in this heat and looking forward to a laid back easy do nothing day tomorrow!
Super powerful reminder - thanks ladies and hope your Sunday is awesome!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
