The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Our relationship is up and down and all around. When it is good it is everything i have ever wanted....but when it is not....well it is pure hell. Not only am i dealing with an alcoholic who i try to keep in a calm state of mind so he only drinks moderately for the day but i am up against his hateful crazy family. His siblings are all addicts. And they all have mommy issues. She controls them all with money and guilt. She plays head games with me and has told people the resentment she carries for our 3 year old son. In the past week she has gone nuts on our son....last week while my abf was visiting with him she screamed at him grabbed him and pit him in a time out. Today she let her anger rip as she aggressively stormed towards him and yelled at him to BE QUIET AND STOP YOUR CRYING!!!....while my abf s brother taunted our child by saying ohhh boo hooo what do you need a bubuuu....i left in a storm while they laughed us out of the house. My abf stayed behind and i am sure he has been drinking all day.....i am just wiped out and dishusted with life
And in addition he has tried to call....idk if it is to yell at me or find out if it is ok to come home....i am so tired and overwhelmed...i just want easy...and calm in my sons life
I too send positive thoughts and prayers to you Lisa! When chaos/drama seemed to be the 'norm' around here, I started disappearing and taking bubble baths. It was a place I could go and not be interrupted (usually) and gather my thoughts while trying to relax! That might be hard with a 3 YO, but perhaps you could treat yourself in some small way after the babe goes to sleep?
Just a thought - when I felt overwhelmed with life, treating myself in some small way reminded me that I was worthy and I was not alone!
(((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Sounds exhausting and crazy making. Breathe and take care of yourself. Make sure to do something kind and enjoyable jus5 for you today. You deserve it.
I lived with.an AH once whose mother drove me up the wall. She was a lit more subtle than the one you are describing. That AH had a brother who was also.an addict.
My.big failing in dealing with that family was to get to acceptance. I felt absolutely victimized by them
Now I get to acceptance really fast.
I can't say it's been an easy journey
I know for me it's all about me 100 per cent.
I am sorry your son has to endure this kind if behavior. The grear news is you are in recovery. He will have you as a Resource. Keep coming back
Maresie
That is also somewhat how I grew up and it included the physical abuse too. From my experience I'd ask that you find a nice play area that he can go to and enjoy somethings other than what he is getting from family. The alcoholic family is very toxic and he will pay for this in the future in many various ways. You and your son have my deepest compassion and prayers. Face to face meetings and tons of phone numbers from members in the meetings can be very very supportive. Three years old is not near the power and control you have whether you are handling it or not. Little guy is getting his butt kicked without a defense. Prayers going out your way...let go let God and keep coming back. (((((hugs)))))
Insanity and chaos is confusing and the idea of normal becomes skewed. Your son is your priority and it sounds like he is being abused. A firm boundary to protect him may be needed. Don't allow him to be with them. Sounds simple and I know how hard it is to think rationally when in the chaos. Alanon could save you and your child from a lifetime of misery. Good luck
