The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading discusses the burden of guilt and amends making. Many of us carry guilt most of the time. Doing the steps, and making amends helps to release us from our guilt and allows us to put the past in it's place - behind us. As we move forward in the program, most of us find that our self-esteem grows and we feel better about ourselves as we leave the guilt behind.
The writer discusses amends making to one no longer with us. Coming to accept that the past can't be changed, all he/she could do is change present behavior - a living amends. Now when tempted to shirk a responsibility, the write remembers his/her friend, and reconsider choices. By providing service to others in need, he/she is making amends to her friend.
Today's reminder -- I can't make past wrongs disappear, but I can take actions that will help me to let them go. When I make amends, I do what I can to correct the situation. Then I can put the past in its rightful place and leave it there.
Today's quote -- from the Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage -- "Let me remember that the reason for making amends is to free my own mind of uneasiness."
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I came to the program with a ton of guilt and shame. I could not always recognize it for what it is, but I knew change was necessary. I also came to the program to fix my qualifiers, not me! In accepting my powerlessness, and working the program as best I could, my efforts changed. I put my energy into changing me for me and my sanity. Going through the steps showed me consistent patterns of behavior I practiced that were harmful, insane and certainly not healthy. Being able to own my part, make amends and let go of the past was a game changer for me.
Today I can celebrate my humanism and accept my mistakes. I can see my part and rectify things as I am aware. I don't have to be who I was, I just have to be who I am. Imperfectly human, I can also accept others as they are too. Letting go of guilt was not optional for me if I wanted to change and grow.
Grateful for all of you - make it a great Thursday --- off to golf shortly!! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hi IAH, Thanks for posting your thoughts on this really important Step. I can really attest to the fact that taking the action toward amends truly works . There were a few people, I could not make direct amends to, as they had passed, so each day I pray for them and do random acts of kindness on their behalf . The guilt and pain has lifted and I am free to remember the good times.
