The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for July 12 speaks about the Fifth Tradition. This is the tradition which outlines Al-Anon's purpose and identifies how we go about doing it.
In this Tradition,it is suggested that we encourage and understand our alcoholic relatives. The reading tries to make it clear that we can focus on ourselves and still be a loving and caring person as well. We can have compassion for loved ones who suffer from the disease without losing our sense of self. Encouraging and being kind to others is one way of being good to ourselves and we don't have to sacrifice ourselves. Al-Anon teaches us how to love and take care of ourselves while we offer support to others..
I love this Tradition as it outlines Al-Anon's purpose and identifies how we go about doing it. It is interesting how this Tradition . suggests that we encourage and understand our alcoholic relatives.and the reading tries to make it clear that we can focus on ourselves and still be a loving and caring person as well. . What an idea!!!"
Prior to program I do believe that I tried to be loveable by making my needs invisible and denying myself Thanks to alanon I have learned to love myself, and still love others without making myself invisible .
Thank you Betty for the daily - it took me a while to understand this tradition and how I make it work for my world.....only because I had a feeling that if I removed my focus from 'them', I would be giving them permission to keep doing what they were doing. What I had to learn is that I was powerless over what they do and how they process their choices and whether I agree, disagree, raise concern or not - they are going to do what they are going to do.
Once I fully learned acceptance and powerlessness, I could then focus on me and find compassion for them. I love the quote from Ben Franklin - "If you would be loved, love and be loveable." This tells me I can not expect more from me than I do of others and vice versa!
Hope your day is going great - we had some wicked storms earlier so I shut everything down. 3.5 inches of rain and it's building up again for this evening! If I'm missing, you'll know why!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I dont understand.....my ABF is an absolute beast when drunk....am i supposed to be kind to his hateful behaviour? We have been together for almost 6 years now and have a child together. The things i have supported him through...people think i am crazy. I have just had a mental break from his behaviour. I dont know how to treat this person i am so angry with
Lisa attending alanon meetings will shed light on the attitudes and principles that alanon supports. I do understand your pain and confusion and offer positive thoughts and prayers for your situation.
