The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So, after my five year relationship hiatus spoken of in an earlier post, I am finally enjoying the company of a member of the opposite gender (ok an aside here, I dislike the term opposite sex when what is meant is opposite gender, pet peeves are funny things eh?). He's a really nice family man with a good extended family and so far I am really glad I made the decision to step into his line of sight!
Anyway - One thing I am noticing about me is this niggling demon on my shoulders trying to undermine my confidence in myself. Thoughts like, maybe hes embarrassed to have people find out about us answer: if he was embarrassed, he wouldnt be inviting me to friend's houses, or kissing me outside the post office, OR inviting me to meet his mom knowing she has so many friends around town and may spread that word other answer: dammit LMH, you are worthy of a good man so dont sell yourself short! I look at my house and the mess it is in and think, no man wants a woman who is such a slob answer: I am not my house, I am so much more than my house I know that I am a really nice person who wants a nice world, a loving and giving life, to choose paths to happiness rather than negativity. I have a great mind and sweet spirit, there are so many really good things about me, my focus should not ever be on the things I am not! Other answer give yourself a break LMH, youve been battling a medical condition that has sapped your energy and strength you WILL catch up on the house issues, enough to make you feel less like a slob focus on healing so you have lots of years to enjoy with him!
My focus should not EVER be on the things I am not - how often do I let myself get sucked into focusing on the wrong things, things that bring me down and make me feel negative about myself or my life. I really like the visual image of shrugging my shoulders, knocking the nigglers off and getting back to work.
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
LMH - great share and I can relate. I often find myself wondering 'when' I will be worthy 'enough' and the answer that returns is you already are! I have to tell myself daily that I am worthy, I am loving, I am lovable, I am ... I don't know why the self-confidence and self-love seem to creep back in when I least expect but it happens. I usually remember that I have program, program friends, sponsor, tools, steps to use and how cool is that as not everyone does.....
I hear you and I see you using the program to find your truth. Great, great job! You are worthy!!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Great share. I have taken hiatus from relationships in the past. I have to say I.find all relationships tough to deal with. It doesn't matter whether it's Co worker, friend, neighbor, whoever I have a lot of issues there. But when it comes to partners I.absurdly feel unworthy, judged and super sensitive.
I am impressed you.can allow yourself to be liked and cherished. Good for you
Maresie
