The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is about the power that fear can have in our lives. it is pointed out that fear is often behind our need for control, or our belief that if we can establish control, our fear will be assuaged. When I read this it reminded me of what I think of as my 'reaching bottom'. I was consistently anxious about what my then AH was up to when he was out (and out of my control). Fear of the unknown drove me to become someone I was not intended to be- someone who would search through someone else's email and phone, wallet and pockets. I saw myself in thise moments and received the message from my HP that this was not the path for me. I also saw immediately that my trying to establish control did nothing to lessen my fears.
Coming to this program, working the steps, working with a sponsor, focusing on myself and my relationship to my HP are all the things that helped me and continue to help me get stronger and walk away from fear..
i am realizing and can accept that each day brings more unknowns with it. I don't have to be afraid of all of them and I also can accept that there are plenty of situations over which I have no control.
Hi Mary Thanks for you powerful share on this important topic. When i entered program I often said that I never felt fear and was fearless . How wrong I was!!! As time went by and i worked the Steps I became honest with myself and uncovered the surprising fact that I changed all my many fears into anger, control manipulation and ignored it, because I did not have the tools to deal with it.
Using alanon tools such as living one day at a time, trusting HP and praying for courage and helped to lift many of my unrealistic fears. Today, I know that "Fear is essential to living and that having courage simply means that I have said my prayers and HP is walking with me.
I will have a lovely fearless day thanks to all my program tools. Thanks for your service.
Happy Tuesday Mary and Betty! Thanks to both for your ESH and thank you Mary for your service and the daily. It took me a while to realize how very active fear was in my being. I always exuded a barrier of strength and resolve when facing tough times and chaotic events. As I worked the program, and began to look at me, I learned this was a defense mechanism, and fear drove almost everything I said, did, thought and believed.
Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of embarrassment, fear of unknown, fear of ... - you name it - I had it. With that barrier up, I did not know me, so there is no doubt I hid my true self from all I knew/met/loved. I have come to believe that my HP, God, does not want me to live in fear. He's got my back and will guide me to peace, joy and a better way to live my life when I let him. When I feel fear today, I try to determine if it's real or if it's my magic, magnifying, projecting mind and then process accordingly. In both scenarios, my final answer is to let go and let God.
Make it a fearless Tuesday one and all! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I love your words of wisdom Mary ,thank you for your daily and Betty and Iamhere for y'all's wisdom.......fear-False evidence appearing real......in recovery and on my 4 th step,all is well......lu
