The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm just wondering, because I am a grateful recovering member of both programs, married to a sober dry drunk who is a hoarder. I have to work both programs because I know that if I don't use Alanon, I have to really really work AA. Living with a dry drunk can be just as crazy making as living with a practicing one at times. He also doesn't like emotional conflict, so talking about stuff puts him instantly on the defensive. Also, a recent relapse on my part triggers him, so when I bring up how his hoarding makes me insane, he brings up my relapse. Still, we trudge along and work it out because we both love AND like each other despite our character defects. It's only when they are "instincts run riot" that we struggle.
Oh, and I am grateful to have found this board. We only have one Alanon meeting a week where I live, so it's nice to have another place to go.
I am certainly aware of what it is to live with a hoarder. My mother was a hoarder. I can certainly veer towards being a pack rat. One of.my current projects is to clear out a storage unit I have had for three years. I know it is going to be quite an undertaking.
I know I had a boyfriend who was a hoarder. Oddly enough that behavior was really harder for me to deal with than his substance abuse. I think it was because I felt so submerged by it. The substance abuse had more secrecy about it. I am so grateful that I no longer try to negotiate that.
I miss some aspects of dealing with him but I don't miss that. His hoarding has reached epic proportions these days and affects everyone around him. I am blessed that I no longer have to deal with that. It was an incredible struggle.
Maresie
slyp55 - welcome to MIP - glad you found us and glad that you shared. I also am raising my hand, and do the best I can to keep my focus here on Al-Anon recovery. I came to Al-Anon through the side door and it has complimented the other side of recovery for me very, very well.
Glad that you are here and hope you keep coming back!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I would be wondering why that is so important and you can PM me (anonymity...is the spiritual tradition of all our affairs....) Glad to have you here keep coming back. ((((hugs))))
