The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It's been quite a while since I last posted. Things are a little bit better these days in the sense that my AH has not been drinking much. There were some days when he had some beer but not as much and didn't stayed as late as before.
But, his behavior is pretty much the same. There's the shouting, blaming, finding fault, complaining... I would say I still haven't found peace. Every morning I still have that feeling of "i hope today will be a good day... I hope my AH will wake up in a good mood... I hope today will be a happy day". I pray each morning that God will help me make it thru the day :)
Hi Jocelgo You are not alone. I too have experienced that anxiety and lived with the shouting and blaming caused by living with the disease. Keeping the focus on myself, accepting that I am powerless over people places and things helped me to detach myself, recite the serenity prayer over and over and let Go and Let God.
Please keep coming back.
Unless you go to alanon meetings I dont think anything can change really. It's not really a small chunk bite size kind of program. You need to dive in 100%.
Nothing changes if nothing changes - so the program taught me. Working this program - meetings, sponsor, steps, etc. - and keeping the focus on myself helped my anxiety lesson when there was/is chaos & drama. In my home, when I stopped focusing on 'it', I got better and felt better.
"Half Measures Avail Us Nothing....we stood at the turning point..." from The Big Book of AA
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I feel just like you. AH drinks from minute he gets up to minute he goes to bed. He finds fault, complains, blames. Lots of days I feel like I am walking on egg shells. I don't know how he is going to react that day to anything. He gets very snippy at me for no reason at all. I go to Alanon meetings once a week. I am trying to make a life for myself and to find peace, but that is a tough one. I have been married for 18 years to AH. I really think I would be better off living alone, but can't afford it. I just have to take it one day at a time.
Hi elcee, I wish I could attend an Al-anon f2f but sadly there's none in my country, at least none that I know of where I live. Had the chance to go on vacation in US and was excited to attend one near my brother's place but then the meeting there moved somewhere else I was not able to locate
It's tough going without face to face meetings but there are podcasts and more to look at.
One thing I learned in al anon was not to argue. Of course it takes a lot to get to that. I think it takes a determination and steel to want to turn things around
I don't think any alcoholic I knew got better without a program. Even with a program it was a long long haul.
I don't argue with alcoholics anymore but I have to work to set a lot of distance emotionally.
Reaching out is so key to getting better. The more time I invest in recovery the better my life is.
Maresie
The face to face meetings helped me the most and finding my sponsor in those meetings. The books "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews helped along with the 3 daily readers Courage to Change, One Day at a Time and Hope For Today all helped me get my perspective more aligned in a healthy way. This program works when you dive in and work the steps. I am glad you came to MIP!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
