The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My ABF was doing so well...78 days sober, the longest since I've know him...and last Wednesday he relapsed...just after I decided it was time for me to break things off...this crisis occurs.
While I've handled it for the most part using my tools from Al-Anon...I have one question...I refuse to purchase beer for him, but I did drive him twice this weekend to pick it up....is that enabling him? My biggest concern was that if I didn't take him...he would drive himself. I'm terrified of what he might do to an innocent bystander when he drinks and drives. Did I do the right yhinf
I am sooooo depressed that he has relapsed!
I don't know that there's a clear right or wrong here, but remember that you can't drive him for the rest of his life just to keep him from driving drunk. It's a shame he's stuck in his disease, but I'm glad you are taking care of yourself. Remember that driving him or not driving him, he's going to do what he's going to do. The important thing is for you to take care of yourself and not get pulled into the insanity. I hope you have a face-to-face meeting? Hang in there! Hugs!
Alcoholism is a progressive chronic disease and relapse is possible. Driving him so that he does not drive while drunk is choice/ decison many of us are all called upon to struggle with. The best I can suggest is for you to continue to attend your alanon meetings, work the Steps, and Let go and Let God. Keep coming back here as well. You are not alone
I in the same process as Pink...I don't willingly contribute to my problem anymore. Alcoholism is my problem. Stay in the solution. Keep coming back (((hugs)))
I no longer make it easier for them. I have to assess my motivation before I act. Do I want that old feeling of being a hero? That let good, but the results were from bad to disastrous. I don't trust that feeling anymore. No more hero here.
I'm not sure any of my behaviors has an effect on others. Addicts will find a way to get what they want until their wants change.
Now I am free to behave in a way that honors my ideas and my present. What will I do with today? I get to decide that one.
OK... you drove him for beer but will it end there? I mean you can't control his actions. He may drive drunk somewhere else. You'll have to decide whether you want to take care of him or take care of yourself. Only you know how all of this feels for you. I guess if I were in your position, I would be getting to more f2f meetings if this felt like a personal crisis and reaching out for support from my sponsor as well. The 3 Cs come to mind - you didn't cause it, can't control it and can't cure it. I hope you yourself first by letting go and letting god.
Please take what you liked if anything and leave the rest.
((((((((hugs))))))))))) TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
