The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Had a good couple of weeks,relativly good behaviour as far as the binging goes. Until today. AH left on foot at around noon and just got home fairly intoxicated. Currently sitting on the deck with his AH pub friend loudly talking and I am sure irritating my neighbours. I am embarrassed although I know I shouldn't be. His life, his behaviour, his problem. Tomorrow he'll sleep until the afternoon and get up like nothing happened as I am detaching and won't confront him. No point.
I am sad,have bouts of anxiety, financially strained, alone, and feel like an idiot most days for staying with him. Trying to get to FTF meetings but hard with my schedule. Trying to be patient. Too many empty promises, lies, bad behaviour, and mental & verbal abuse. Not sure how much longer I can do it.
Anyway, thanks for listening. This is really my only outlet as my family and most friends don't know. Weeping now. Just so sad.
Yep, the detaching stuff. Im not suppose to confront either. Really pisses me off. Because like your AH, mine will act all great next day too. then wonder why our feelings are changing towards them, To them its just no big deal, apparently we just dont want them to have "fun" like "everyone else". Funny thing is i asked him how he wld feel if i came home as messed up a few times week, and he actually said, well Id leave you, not keep nagging about it!!!!!!
Yep. Haven't said much to him since he came in. Sometimes it feels like the detaching is just tolerating the bad stuff.
They say Detachment with love means caring enough about others to allow them to learn from their mistakes but when those mistakes affect my life negatively ( financially,emotionally ) it is so hard. And he doesn't learn. So frustrated tonight.
I too am sending positive thoughts your way. Be gentle with yourself and know that we are powerless over others, and what they do/don't do. Keep the focus on you as best you can and know that this program does work - practice, practice, practice...
(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I too Struggled with the new tools of recovery when I first go into the rooms and I complained often and loudly and kept coming back to learn how I created my problems. I Got committed to my recovery rather than committed because of it and sanity felt so awesome. Each and every time I heard myself adding her to a complaint I knew the disease was working me and my insanity. I cut that behavior out detaching while loving her for the creature of God she was and is. "God don't make no junk returned to my thinking". Keep coming back
