The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's c2c speaks about tradition 3- "The relatives of alcoholics, when gathered together for mutual aid, may call themselves an Al-Anon Family Group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation. The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend"
It discusses the fact that in al-anon, we can be confident of not finding any other affiliations such as politics,religion, or anything else promoted by any members, and that if others do discuss these things, we are free to 'take what we like and leave the rest".
It also notes that we can "come as we are" in al-anon; provided we have been affected in some way by the alcoholism of another we aren't required to say, do or believe anything else.
The reading reminds us that al-anon offers us no-strings-attached support.
"Tradition 3 explains 2 ways in which my al-anon friends and i can keep it simple. One is to avoid being diverted from our program by others, and 2 is to welcome into al-anon anyone who is suffering from the effects of another's alcoholism". (Al-anons 12 steps and 12 traditions).
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I wish I had read the traditions earlier, really. I was desperate to fit in after feeling, for so long, that I didn't fit in anywhere (except in my kitchen telling and crying about what other people were doing/not doing lol). Worrying about whether my issues were 'bad enough", or if my problems really WERE caused by alcoholism, or whether I had any right seeking al-anon help when I got drunk sometimes myself, the list goes on. And then there was the God stuff. No matter what people said, they kept using the word God which implied religion, didn't it? So really, i didn't belong, did I?
Knowing what I know now, it's much easier for me to help a newcomer understand that they do belong and they needn't say, think or do anything...there's no 'code". And it's so very nice to be a part of something where outside issues don't matter and the sole focus is on the serenity and joy of all of our unique members. (Says she who wrote an essay on the care and feeding of camels here on the board just a few days ago, lol!!!!)
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Thanks Miss Mel for the reading. As all traditions go this is an important tradition: number 3.
Today I am celebrating the 4th of July w a friend & my ah. He is doing a BBQ & shrimp in our wok. I am sure that we will have an excellent time.
Thanks for your service Mel
(((Ms. Mel)))
Hoot
Thanks MissMel for the daily and for your service!
Thanks to you and Kathleen for your ESH. As with most program things, it took me a while to digest the meaning and intent of the steps and the traditions. I remember reading them the first time and understood but am a 'see it to believe it' kind of gal.
As I became for steady in my thoughts and more comfortable in my seat, I saw this tradition and many others in action. I love that no matter who we are, our age/stage, our background, our qualifier, our beliefs, values, etc. we belong. We all belong and we are all equals. Each brings a unique quality to the fellowship and if I remain focused on me and open-minded, I can and will grow and learn each day from all who attend our fellowship.
Take what you like and leave the rest has been powerful for me too. There are some program folks who get stuck in placing blame beyond themselves, and bash the qualifier. I cringe at this as I am also in recovery on the other side. To suggest to newcomers and others that all alcoholics are a certain way or think a certain way or any other judging, labeling, projecting feeds the insanity of the disease and those affected by it and blocks recovery.
I am grateful that this tradition offers hope to each person who comes into the rooms. I am grateful there is no requirements beyond being affecting by the disease and mostly I love that any/every one is welcome, accepted and can be who they are or need to be without judgement or advice-giving.
Happy 4th of July MIP family - make it a great day! I must admit that BBQ & shrimp in the WOK sounds pretty darn good!! We've grilling pork chops today and who knows what else.....(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Tradition three is an extremely important tradition and I am glad we're talking about it today. All the Traditions the individuality of each member and this one in particular points out that this is definitely a, fellowship of equal and If you have been affected by someone else's drinking, you are welcome.
You don't have to dress a certain way believe a certain subject act a certain way. All you need to do is walk in the room and say I belong.
It is also important to note that we are gathered together for "mutual aid"-- to me this means that we help each other and that there are no leaders only members. We help each other by sharing our experience strength and hope and that is enough. Even the person who is in program for one day can assist others by merely listening and being honest.
Thanks for your service. Ms. M I particularly enjoyed your dissertation on the care and feeding of camels and glad that you did so.
