The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm already starting to feel some sadness coming on,for 53 yrs of loving my a/sister,and now seeing it all over with ,it's like this is just the beginning to a ending that's happening,unless she finds her recovery or gets help ,she has made fun of me so much for things I do in my morning routine of working my alanon ,our mother raised us like twins cause 15 Mths apart in age I'm the younger,I never saw the red flags over the years didn't. Want to but I do remember her pushing me away a lot growing up but I never minded it either,I'm bad to ramble a good bit I hope I'm not .a/sis has been saying she can't wait till town opens back up in a evil tone toward me ,threats of I dunno what she wants to hurt me bad ,lots of abuse all mental abuse coming at me ,I just simply say I not hearing this nonsense and walk away ,but she keeps on and on,quite at this moment thank gosh,she just said she can't wait to move ,I only hope and pray it's that easy that she leaves peacefully........esh all esh welcome , living life one sec. At a time .and trying to stay in right now.......in recovery ,and I'm a grateful member of alanon today....lu...hugs
Lu you do need to feel safe in your own home If necessary you can get an order of protection so as to make this possible. Remember you can still love your sister and take care of yourself. Prayers on the way
Thanks Betty for your sincerity,yes I'm gonna have to do something,our sisterhood is gone nothing there anymore,we might be able to speak to one another depending on her though getting the help she needs,besides drugs and alcohol.
LU - the program suggests we focus on ourselves, and pray for others. We don't judge and we work to QTIP - Quit Taking It Personally. I know from experience it's hard to do, especially when the attacks are personal, but then I remind myself that it's the disease talking and not the person I love.
Hang in there - one day at a time!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Remember to stay in the moment. An alcoholic is going to get all upset and belligerent when you try to remove their soft cushion and their comfort zone, but often in six months they hardly remember. You can't predict what's going to happen for your sister down the line. She may find recovery, she may do this, she may do that. It will happen whether or not you ask her to leave, except that asking her to leave may be one little extra piece toward her hitting bottom. I am seeing in your thoughts the kind I used to have so much, the "Oh no, this is the last time, everything has ended, things will never be the same." That caused me so much grief for years. But only about a third of my predictions ever came true, and often those in ways I couldn't have predicted. I hope you will take care of you right now and leave HP to take care of the future.
Remember to stay in the moment. An alcoholic is going to get all upset and belligerent when you try to remove their soft cushion and their comfort zone, but often in six months they hardly remember. You can't predict what's going to happen for your sister down the line. She may find recovery, she may do this, she may do that. It will happen whether or not you ask her to leave, except that asking her to leave may be one little extra piece toward her hitting bottom. I am seeing in your thoughts the kind I used to have so much, the "Oh no, this is the last time, everything has ended, things will never be the same." That caused me so much grief for years. But only about a third of my predictions ever came true, and often those in ways I couldn't have predicted. I hope you will take care of you right now and leave HP to take care of the future.
