Hi, an old timer here.  NavGrace in room.  New intense problem.  One of my adult children, ?A def with behaviour is abusive to his wife as reported to me by my Grandchildren.  He has a strangle hold on them and my hubs and I.  Sons bio Dad is the A and son is total enabler ie trading vehicles when Dad had a dui and made his wife drive the vehicle with the breathalyzer....gives money every month for years etc picks him up off of floor all the time.  Had the kids in AlaKid and presented with tools, ie brochures during crises and where they could go.  Fast forward, he is a junior copy of his Father.  Is verbally abusive to me, this past year kept me from leaving for a meeting, blocking me while raging at me etc.  My Grandchildren, I had helped raise.  Son is paranoid and creates grand non realistic things in his mind and is a control freak.  This is first year I have not had the kids in summer (like his Dad does not have fun, ie camp, swim, picnics)  I do not want to feed this, nor do I want to abandon my Grandchildren.  Needing wisdom re contact with them.  Thank You. (I have taken them swimming every year.....hubs and I are without isms.....well except I married the cookie monster.  No foul language, inappropriate movies, mostly non drinking and peaceful home...play games, laugh enjoy life and others).  Grandaughter told me how Daddy hit Mommy accidentally really hard.  And she asked Jesus to help and she heard him say its ok to call 911 if she has too.  Only, she doesn't have access to a phone...no cell or landline.  Parents have phones.  Daddy calls Mommy names, makes her cry.  It is a heart break.  I had previously talked to dil about having a plan and leaving when he escalates.  This past year she has taken his side when he went nuts thinking I could have caught a non communicable disease from traveling and pass it to their family.  Bizzare.