The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
first- thank you all for your support and encouragement yesterday. It was a great reminder to me that we are human beings who stumble, trip, fall and are lifted up again by those around us. My house is officially on the market now and was shown once last night. That has contributed to my feeling untethered for sure!
Hope for Today: today's reading is about how for many of us pre-program was about harsh expectations, demands and ultimately disappointments in others and ourselves. The program suggests and models slogans like 'keep it simple' and 'easy does it'; a much different approach to life! The reading goes on to note that the only thing resembling a 'must' in the program is willingness- and there is flexibility and understanding there about how we work our programs.
personally I have noticed some variation in how I work the program- there are times that I am diligently focused, reading, writing, working the steps. Other days I can pick a sentence from Just for Today and that's my focus.. or as some of you saw, a day like yesterday when I was just giving myself gentle reminders about the next small thing I would do to get through the day.
I remember the first time I heard the program referred to as a 'gentle program'- that sounded like such a relief! living with an active A, living as a codependent without treatment or program-- I know I certainly was in need of a gentle program. I'm grateful to be here with all of you-- hope you have a pleasant Tuesday!
Hi Mary This is a difficult time and I do appreciate your providing the update regarding your house. I will hold positive thoughtss for this outcome.
I love the reading in HRT . I too can remember being opinionated and uncompromising before program and really appreciate the gentleness and love that is expressed in every alanon tool. Trusting HP has made a huge difference in my day and life.
Thanks for your service-have a good day
Good morning Mary and Betty! Thank you both for your service and ESH and Mary - thank you for today's daily. I too am glad to hear that you made it through and I 'see' your program in action. Selling a home is very stressful to me - it's one of those events that brings back that perfectionist in me that I've worked hard on in this program.
I too was rigid, demanding and controlling before this program. I used facts to justify my actions and used words to slice others when I was right - which I felt was always. The gentle spirit of this program and those who came before me has given me the ability to be human and to allow others their own journey without my judgement, facts, statistics and control. I can Live and Let Live, and feel really good about it!
I agree with you on the 'how to work it'....there are days I too am spot on with my program and tools and then other days where I am grasping for a moment of peace and/or in a great place and just meditate on a simple program aspect. I know that I am grateful that no matter what is going on in my life, I have a ton of tools to use if I am able/willing to take action. This, for me, has been the biggest game-changer for me - I can't think my way to right action...I must act my way to right thinking.
May you all have a lovely Tuesday! I've got a day full of 'to-dos' and then softball tonight! (((Hugs))) to all!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Great reading Mary and great shares, i did not
live Around too many actives so i did not get too
Crazy acting. I Was sick enough though from the
isms Of the disease From my ex and his family and
My my own family dysfunction.
I love and embrace the gentleness of this program
I love watching it work and feeling it work. This morning
I felt like a bud trying to open up within. That felt good
And is a good sign. I am working on some really hard
Issues right now that bring a lot of pain and hurt so any
little Sign I am healing is great.
You have a some emotionally charged things going on
Be extra gentle with yourself. I remember when we sold
Our last home, i loved that house so many happy memories
And hard work fixing it up. I cried and was very sad it was a
Huge part Of us. Your ex dating Is going to be hard it Brings
out a lot of emotions and feelings deep inside.
