The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Good morning! I am a 53 year old woman that has been dating an alcoholic for 8 years. He has always been what is called a "functioning" alcoholic until the past six months. The roller coaster has been rough but now it is becoming a dangerous ride. I am in fear of getting into any vehicle with him. I have to cancel plans and blame it on my health so he doesn't get mad. He has never hit me but the verbal abuse is terrible. Thing is, I know I should leave him or tell him to go away but for some reason I feel like I am addicted to him and the behav , if I talk he tells me to shut up. Why do I put up with this? I am strong, independent but have terrible health. I was diagnosed with cancer 5 years ago and stress doesn't help the situation at all. I don't know if anyone can help me but I cannot afford counseling. Please help..desperate for answers.
-- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 16th of June 2016 05:37:21 PM
Dorothy - welcome to MIP - so glad you found us and so glad that you shared. Alcoholism is a progressive disease and does reach out beyond the drinker to those who love or live with them. It's considered a family disease as most everyone is affected in one way or another.
I encourage you to seek local Al-Anon meetings and attend a few. In Al-Anon, I found others who understood what I was going through, supported me while I gathered my 'self' again and helped me carve out a life that is joyful and peaceful in spite of what others are/are not doing around me.
I also learned much more about the disease and how it affects all aspects of life - thoughts, feelings, spirit, etc. You are not alone and there is help and hope!
Keep coming back - we're all usually just a post away!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Welcome and attending alanon face to face meetings
And getting the literature will start you on your own
recovery Journey. You can not fix him only yourself.
