The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am curious as to how other groups handle members who decided to become disruptive to the meeting taking place. We've had this happen a few times and peacefully, try to redirect these people back to the topic. Sometimes, there are people who really enjoy interrupting other members that are sharing and we handle it the same way. It seems that it's usually the same people time and time again. There has been a time when I have taken the person aside and suggested that they get a sponsor to talk about more specific and private matters instead of "airing" their laundry in front of the group. Once or twice, we've had new members walk through our group full of anger towards life in general and not just towards their qualifier -alcoholic and/or addict. Also, it seems that every now and then we get members who evidently have mental issues and as a group we seem to walk on eggshells.
Would someone please share their ideas or suggestions as to whether or not they've experienced such similar situations and how the group handled it. I know that Tradition Five states that Al-Anon has but one purpose- helping families of alcoholics. The pamphlet entitled, "Concerned about your Mental Health?" truly does not discuss much and only refers to trying Al-Anon for a minimum of six meetings.
In NY In my experience if a person is disruptive, argumentative, disrespectful, while others are sharing and will not abide by the traditions, then, a group conscience has been taken and the person refused admission to the group meeting room.
In other instances where people do not stay on topic or go over their time. There is a spiritual timekeeper who reminds them of the time and the persons asked to wrap it up.
Most importantly No one isever prevented from sharing on any topic they need to speak about .
All of policies have been developed after much discussion and many Business meetings and members voting their conscience.
Thanks, Hotrod as this gives me some ideas to take back to my group as the GR. Then, we could have a Group Conscience meeting to further establish guidelines for the future.
Having a "business meeting" and in it discussing problems and solutions within the guidelines of the steps, traditions and concepts really works and don't hesitate to acknowledge where and when the decisions came from. (((hugs)))
At my home group, in our opening, we give all attendees the choice of a one on one meeting. We have one or two who take advantage of this option each week. If one wants a one on one, then another member will volunteer to sit with them - and without any rules/guidelines, it is always one with some experience in the program. I think this preventative step, resulting from discussions also in business meetings.
We recently shortened our opening as it was taking quite a bit of time at the start, which led to some showing up late.....showing up late is not an issue, but we break up into small groups for our topic discussions, and we determine 'how many' based on attendee count. So, it throws things off a bit and causes a smaller group to go over at times.
Lastly, in my experience, disruptions happen more often through learning than intentional - at our group. We had one who wanted to apply her interpretation of the traditions and principles and kind of like a qualifier, when we did not react, she stopped coming.
Good luck - I am a huge believer in the power of numbers. When a group of like minded folks come together, miracles happen!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
