Jerry said something that has stuck with me and has helped me. When we're dealing with, living with, addiction to alcohol or anything really then were not dealing with 'normal' and so our 'normal' thinking, solutions, tools, dont apply.

I love the drinker in my life but they are different, requiring a different kind of love. A simple conversation about anything cant really take place with a drinker. They are blocked, they cant hear or see properly so a logical rational conversation or expectations is meaningless. I see this disease in my loved one and it breaks my heart. The irritability, the lack of comfort, its horrible to watch and then they choose to medicate this thinking disorder with drink so then bad behaviour surfaces and society and families react to that so this poor sick person is left even more confused and full of shame and self pity. They cant see themselves as sick needing spiritual help so they see themselves as bad, different, stupid etc!!!! Its so awful.

My higher power has sent me a crisis or not. Cant decide but my body and mind has reacted again. Im on high alert but this time I have gifts. I have compassion, understanding, love. I am no longer judge and jury over the drinker. I think all I can do is insist on acceptable behaviour and not tolerate bad behaviour. All without condemnation or judgement. Thanks for reading.