Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: recovering doormat


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1662
Date:
recovering doormat


i am a member of recovering doormats and

proud of it. It took me a long time in alanon to

get there though. I was very glad i could stand

up for me by the time my xah left. i was ready

for the fallout and Emotionally stronger to cope.

 

i still struggle with my emotional sobriety that

is a work in process. I still can ride the crazy

roller coaster and i need to pray for wisdom

and guidance.

 

i walk in faith now just need to keep working 

The program to get stronger. One day to a time,

i find i can not push myself to be more ready than i

am. It only hurts me and causes me internal distress. 

 

I let God lead the way and try to relax and let life unfold.

Thats a tall order for me and i try very hard to let it go

and let God.

 

I am still detaching and grieving, it runs so deep

and is so tangled up. My rational self does not seem 

to have much sway with my heart and soul.

 

Hugs

 

Mirandac

 

 



__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1020
Date:

I'm cheering you on beside you in the same boat.


__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1662
Date:

It seems when it comes on, it all Comes at once.

My trauma got kicked In with my client that is
acting really bizarre again my coping skills are
Not up for this level of crazy, my land lord says
I need to sign a new lease or i am out and i really
don't want to, my ex sent me partial reduction In
the amount owed.

You know what in the front of my brain, my
Ex and all my emotions of rejection, hurt, betrayal
and pain. All over again even with no real contact
for a Year except for the monthly alimony check,
Thats it for contact.

I need to get out my readers and do my lists
And journal. I am very tired of being such an
Emotional being. I want to feel normal again,
I have peace and faith.

I want balance and feeling Whole, Healthy and
happy. I was happy at one point or i thought i
Was.

((((((Hugs ))))))

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 11569
Date:

Miranda - huge (((Hugs))) for you.....I hear you about all things hitting at once. Of course for me, I tend to begin anxiety when one thing goes different than desired and at times wrap myself up in WHEN the next shoe will drop - not if. I know you work a solid program and I know that for me too.....I think that years and years of living 'that way' has made it be my go to mode, which I also am working to change.

Time and time again when I begin to slip, I have to be reminded my fears might be misplaced and this is a spiritual journey, where I am never alone. I too am with you!

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1662
Date:

None are fears my landlord i was ready for that reaction, i
Will talk to him sometime i do not have anything lined up For
a new rental. He is what he is and there are some issues.

My client hopefully they will regulate the meds again, when
she gets Like this my eyes are the size of saucers.

My ex he is my trigger king, i wear a God shield it does not
Seem to protect me from him or myself. One day to a time.

I did call my lawyer

Hugs

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 13696
Date:

 

 

That is the kind of share which carried me thru my  recovery also...thanks for sharing that M...it is appreciated.   (((hugs))) smile



__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2768
Date:

OMG~I am a member of your club, Recovering Doormats! I also ride the crazy train but less often and for shorter periods of time. Were it not for alanon and all the tools and people that help me, I think I would be lost somewhere, never to be found. Thank you for your share today. I CAN SO RELATE! Bless you, Lyne

__________________

Lyne



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1400
Date:

Recovering Doormats -- I love it!biggrin  I admire the wit and humor you are bringing to this journey we travel.   Of course, I wish I'd known about this club many years earlier, but am so glad to be a member now.



__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1662
Date:

Thank you all for your shares they mean a
Lot. I sometimes get disgusted with myself
About anything To do with my ex.

I Know what i need to do and that is hand
Him over to the care of God and leave him
there and dont look back.

I am just not ready yet

There is a real society for recovering
doormats and a book.

thesocietyforrecoveringdoormats.com

((((((( hugs ))))))

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 987
Date:

An old timer who has passed away always used to share how al anon helped him to change from a door mat into a flying carpet xx



__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1662
Date:

Thank you tracy i am not flying yet.

Good things will come just have to
Keep doing my part to get there.

It seems like an never ending
Emotional ride. Eventually it will
Bottom out, i hope.

Hugs

(((((Tracy )))))



__________________


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 232
Date:

Recovering Doormat! Love it! I come from a long line of them - my poor Mother being Queen Doormat.

Digressing: a few Christmases ago Target had doormats with "You Have Arrived" on them. I wanted to buy one but missed the chance and now they are nowhere to be found. .

Best wishes for your continued recovery, Mirandac.



__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1662
Date:

Thanks clearthefog its a great
group to Belong to, Recovering
Doormats.

(((((( Hugs )))))

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3496
Date:

LOL MirandaC .. I love that .. I always say I'm a recovering Meddler .. LOL!!

So glad to share the journey with you!! :)

__________________

Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism.  If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown

"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1662
Date:

Thanks serenityrus i was not a fixer
Or controller just a Care giver. Guess
What I do for a living. I think its time
For a change to get out of my rut.

Love the new photo

Hugs




__________________


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 138
Date:

Recovering doormat- that's me!! I like the flying carpet idea, but I'm no where there, yet. One day at a time, right?!  I am definitely part of the club and I love there's a book and everything!! Love it! 

 

Recovering together,

Gabigail



__________________

Butterflies can't see their wings.  They can't see how truly beautiful they are, but everyone else can. People are like that as well.  Anonymous



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1662
Date:

It really does feel good to stand up for your
Self and not let others beat you down.

Watch out bullies and Abusers this woman
does not take it :)


(((((Hugs ))))))





__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 720
Date:

I love reading your posts. I too am a former doormat. It is hard. You are doing so good! Take care of you.

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1662
Date:

Thanks Jen for your support

Thats what alanon has given me, Me back
from a lifetime of dysfunction. I just keep
putting one foot in front of other And doing
the best I can. I know i still have a long way
To go and its a journey.

I find change and growing Hard work so i am
glad its slow and I dont beat myself up or push
myself. That Little Inner codie is very resistant.

Hugs

((((( Jen )))))


__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.