The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Since my AH was diagnosed in early May with alcohol induced hepatitis, he seems to have made an attempt to cut back, but has not stopped drinking. I have said very little and anything I have said, it has been brief and factual. Something kept nagging at me however. My A doesn't use a computer, has no desire to do so. I believe that many people would look up their condition to get more information. I also know that his doctor was rather vague....just saying he had to stop drinking. I know denial is huge, but so is ignorance. I don't mean he is ignorant but just knowing the name of something doesnt mean anything. So, I examined my motive to see if by giving information I was still trying to control, or not. I imagine there is some control but I didnt want him to come back saying he never realized how dangerous it was.
What I did was print out a brief article. I told him I wanted some information because I really didn't understand what it was. I asked if he was interested in reading it and he said he really was. I put it on his pile of reading materials and that's that. I now know that if he chooses to read it, he will at least be informed and he will do as he chooses. I will not ask if he read it....that is his choice also.
Obviously, I am hoping he WILL read it and maybe make an attempt to get help. However, he can't say he didn't know and that is important to me.
Hi El. I just wanted to say I'm an intelligent smoker who can't quit in spite of knowing the dangers. I'm addicted and don't feel capable of quitting today. I hope you are able to let go and let god with this one, because it really is your husbands now to face. I completely get the desire to be educated, its a good thing. Addiction sadly isn't always logical. Keep coming back.
Yes, thank you for making that comparison for me. I smoked for decades knowing the dangers....and how it might still cause me effects far into the future even though I no longer smoke. My H's Doctor has been the family doctor for the past 25 years or more and also tried to get my mother/father in law to quit drinking. The family thought was " he just doesn't like alcohol." So whenever the doctor gets on my husband's case, my H reverts back to this theory with a disgusted shake of his head. My concern was that my H didn't really know what hepatitis was and it really is a serious condition. I wanted him to see it in black and white and not just from his doctor's mouth.
I am now dropping it and it is up to him and his HP. Thank you again though for the comparison. That's why we're here....to help each clear away the fog of our individual situations.i
