The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is about step 4, taking a personal inventory and how initially for many of us this is equated to searching out all of our 'wrongs'. For me looking at this step was daunting in the beginning because I was picturing all of my faults and imperfections lined up and ready to cancel out the positives in my life. The reading points out that the purpose of the fourth step is not to keep score or be used as a report card, rather a chance to look at the things in life that can't be controlled, and a look at the choices to make positive changes in attitudes and behavior. When I notice a character defect moving to the forefront of my thoughts or behavior, I remember that I am a flawed human being but also have the gift of making decisions about the situations of my life.
The quote from Courage to Change includes these words : '...by freely acknowledging who we have been, we can make positive changes about who we are becoming'.
HI Mary, Thanks for posting your thoughts on today's important reading. Knowing that the Steps were the building blocks of recovery and although this Step appeared daunting at first, I made the effort to look within and discovered, much to my surprise,a mixed bag of negative and positive tools that I had been using all my life. Seeing how these negative attitudes hurt me helped me to continue to work this step. I was determined to uncover all the destructive attitudes and actions that I used to sabotage my life and to honor all the constructive altitudes I had discarded or hidden.
Today I work a 10 th Step each night and a 4th Step once a year. Even after so many years , I am far from perfect and all too human , I need to keep those defects from sneaking up on me. :)
Good morning Mary (and Betty) and thanks for the daily and your service. It is through the steps that I was finally able to accept that being human with assets and defects was not only normal but perfectly just fine. I had spent my life trying to be perfect in everything I did, and beating myself up when I was LTP - Less Than Perfect. The 4th Step appears huge and overwhelming but when I chunk it down into action, it's not hard or painful or too difficult.
I am beyond grateful for the many gifts this program has given me - including the freedom to be imperfect and okay as I am. Make it a great day everyone - (((Hugs))) to all!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I found myself finding out that when I did my 1st forth step I had more defects than I thought. I was willing to do it but it was very scary. Today I have a lot less trouble dealing w/ my fears. One of the biggest ones was doing the 4th step. It was a challenge for me but when I shared my 5th step I found myself free from some of my greatest flaws. I am so grateful for the Program & my sponsor who is real easy on me when I ask about or think about doing another 4th step? Am I willing to share my 5th step w/ her? That is scary because I am afraid what might come out. I guess one day I will find out. My story is very complicated as I know all of ours are.
That is all I can say about that. I am not super-experienced w/ this topic. I am work in progress & I am sure that it will be OK.
