The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I came to this forum because my girlfriend is an alcoholic and she recommended that al-anon could be beneficial for me to understand what she's going through and give me tools that could be beneficial for me and our relationship.
I'm actually hoping to go to my first meeting tomorrow morning.
I've been reading some topics and posts and there are a lot of different thoughts on things. Some things get me a little bit down...the idea of 'why should I put myself in the situation to be in a relationship with someone who is dealing with these issues' makes me feel badly. And other comments seem to be more beneficial as I read them.
When we met, or before we met, she was very open with me about some challenges in her life and how and when things started. I thought her honesty was a virtue and we began a relationship and have very strong feelings for each other. She has never been drunk in front of me, I think has not been drunk since I've known her but she has admitted to a few slips where she's had a drink and then stopped.
My hope is that I can be in a successful relationship with someone that I care deeply about, even though it is relatively new and she obviously is struggling with some things. I don't know if that's possible. But I want to see if it is.
Thanks for letting me introduce myself and thanks in advance for any advice you may give down the line.
Welcome to Miracles in Progress Nteacher. I am glad that you have found alanon face to face meetings in your community and plan to attend. Alcoholism is a chronic, progressive, fatal disease that can be arrested but never cured. We who live with this dreadful disease are powerless over it and become affected in a negative manner by attempting to deal with the insanity of the situation.
Alanon will provide helpful tools to live by as you develop new constructive tool to live by. Please pick up some literature which will be helpful in your recovery.
NteacherJ - welcome to MIP! Glad you found us and glad that you shared. My hope is that your first meeting went well - we'd love to hear an update.
In Al-Anon, others showed me that Alcoholism is a disease and I didn't cause it, can't cure it and can't control it. It's a life-long disease, and those of us who live with or love a qualifier are also sucked in and affected. For me, the disease distorted my thinking and my sense of reality. I worked my backside off trying to get them well, sober, normal, etc. - all of which was with the best of intentions and zip/zero results.
Please know that there is hope and you are not alone. Keep coming back!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Welcome Nteacher. Glad you found us. Keep coming back. Everything in the Alanon program is suggested. There are are no rules to follow in Alanon. You take what you like of the teachings of this program and leave the rest. Everyone is free to see what works best for them and their life. Because we're all individuals, one person's opinion and program perspective can differ greatly from another person's. This program is all about personal choice.
If you made it to that Alanon meeting, I hope you found it helpful and welcoming. Thanks for sharing. TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
