The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Honestly, this is something only you can answer. There are no right ways to do this. We share our experiences of what works for us, but everyone needs to make their own decisions. What works for me may not work for you. We each need to do what feels right for us. And this quite likely changes over time.
Baby steps. I learned to be gentle with myself and give myself time to figure it out. I don't need to have all the answers right now. Going to meetings and listening to other people helped give me ideas of what I could try. Some of it works for me, and some of it I leave.
You will know when or if you are ready to walk away from a relationship. In the meantime, keep coming back. :)
I think that is the hardest question to answer. I wish i could give you a magic formula that could spit out an answer. I think you have to just start attending meetings, start working a program for yourself and learn how to make the boundaries you need. Everyone's boundaries a bit different. Creating boundaries means sitting down and figuring out what you need to take care of yourself.
Keep coming back we are all here to support and encourage you!