The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thoughts with IamHere while she remains on holiday...
The author of todays Courage to Change shared an inspiring perspective on the value of remaining flexible in thought and practice during our recovery.
The author noted:
·We may find ourselves trying to lock down our minds to avoid unwanted behavior.
·This limiting of our mind can be taken to extremes if we try to plan out all possible situations.
·AlAnon recommends keeping an open mind to accommodate our constant change: the outflow of old ideas that havent worked, and the influx of new and effective concepts.
·In this way, we may loosen our attachment to our particular ways of doing things and adjust easier to change.
Powerful reason for wanting to change: We dont see the world as it is. We see the world as we are. If we want things to be different in our lives, we must change.
Reminder: growth is dynamic, a constant process of learning and unlearning.
Quote: To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable. ~ Helen Keller
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I fight a tendency to take the wonderful tools and ideas of AlAnon and corrupt them with my old lock down mentality. It is possible for me to turn good tools and principles into unhealthy, arbitrary weapons of negativity for myself and others.
Keeping an open mind reminds me that my way may not be best and I always need to be looking for new ways to apply the steps in my life. I am either recovering or regressing, and flexibility is a key ingredient to seeing the world from a more positive perspective.
I am very grateful for the wisdom of the program J
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Wow. This really hit home. Thank you. Both the C2C and your comment offer a new way for me to see how I've been "stuck", all the while thinking I was moving forward...which has felt more like wheels spinning in the sand. In particular, my tendency to "go it alone" when I really need to call in the troops for help has resulted in fatigue and an injured back. Definitely lock down mentality. Keeping others at arms' length, even the estranged AH is just another mode of control, isn't it!
Thank you Paul for sharing your thoughts on this important principle. I know when I first entered program I thought that I was the most "open minded person"in the world. Thanks to the simple tools of examining my motives and keeping the focus on myself, I discovered that I was not!!!! In fact I was a "Know it all" who thought I had it all figured out kept all ideas outside of my self and was not teachable .
I am glad I had a sponsor, since I was seeing all of these negative aspects of myself, she was gentle enough to explain to me that what I was seeing was simply the destructive tools that helped me to cope with insanity of living in the disease of alcoholism.
Al-Anon has offered me choices, how to not react, to process and respond to situations in a constructive manner. What a gift!
Thank you both for sharing your ESH. I continue to find old thought patterns that need to be peeled away, like an onion. The program gives us such great tools of discovery and healing. Glad to be on this journey together
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
