The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am in need of some sort of perspective and found this message board and decided to post to get a little insight and advice.
My partner is going on their second year in recovery. Things this week have been a little unsettling and as a result of a conversation we had last night, they revealed to me, that I am jealous of them going to meetings and more specifically a person who, while not a sponsor, provides them with some guidance until such time as they find one.
To hear these words totally shocked me and have left me feeling very empty inside. I am in no way jealous of their recovery and their attendance at meetings. I am quite the opposite, when they decide to go, I am very encouraging. My partner was a speaker for a Celebration last week, which was a huge step and I was so very proud to be able to go and listen. I have ALWAYS been very supportive and encouraging. The person that is offering guidance is a friend to both of us and has even helped me understand when I am feeling lost. It is the same person who was having the celebration and had asked my partner to speak ... I was so happy and thanked them and in doing so, I made a big mistake in my partner's eyes in that by thanking this person it made my partner feel that they were weak and stupid. It was so far from the truth. I was happy that my partner was asked by this person because it pushed the envelope for my partner. Something that I would never have been able to do nor would I have even tried.
My partner made it clear last night that they are going to attend more meetings ... which again, EXCELLENT!! However it was shared with me about the jealousy and now there is a lack of trust in that in my partner's doesn't believe that I am not jealous.
What can I do? They are very big on "actions speak louder than words." How to I express this in actions so that it becomes clear that my intentions are true??
Any help or advice would be so grateful ... thank you
Hello JIff Welcome The best way for you to own your own life and recovery would be to search out alanon face to face meetings in your community and attend. Your partner's relationships in AA are about his recovery and need the respect that comes from that knowledge. No one is doing anyone a favor as each benefits from the interactions.
Living with the disease even if a person is in recovery is difficult. Alanon is a program for families of alcoholics that hold face to face meetings in most communities. The hot line number is in the white pages.Alanon will offer you support and positive tools to embrace as you move forward. Please keep coming back here as well There is hope
