The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Tired just so tired of living with an alcoholic, tired of watching him destroy himself a little more each day. Tired of loving and hurting and hating him all at the same time.
(((cbehr))) Welcome please find alanon face to face meetings in your community The hot line number is in the white pages There is hope and you are not alone
There is hope for you and Al-Anon has solutions that will make your condition temporary. I have also been where you ae at to some degree and another; the program made it a temporary situation to my disbelief. Keep coming back. Listen to and follow up on the suggestions and bring your feedback regarding what happens back to the MIP family so others can find what you do. (((((hugs)))))
I know exactly how you feel. Watching him destroy himself every day is painful and I hate him for not wanting to quit drinking. He has been told by 2 doctors in the past 2 weeks that he is killing himself by drinking and that he is going to die, but he says he has lived long enough. I can't believe it. One doctor tried to send him to rehab, but AH was insulted by this. I am so tired of him drinking beer after beer from the moment he gets up to the moment he goes to bed. He cannot do anything without a beer in his hand and he now has a cane in the other.
I too understand the feelings of hopelessness, anger, and exhaustion of watching and being affected by someone's disease of alcoholism. Once I got into Alanon I learned that, while I didn't cause, couldn't control, and couldn't cure what someone else was doing, I could focus on and change myself so that I could recover. Slogans such as "One Day at a Time" got me through the more difficult moments. I've found the Alanon tools help me, no matter what path the other person was on, and even in other areas of life such as work and friendships, so I can grow and my life can be better.
Let me tell you Cbehr that every single one of us has been or are right where you are now. When I came here I was so broken I wanted to end it all just to get away from the madness my son was living. I couldn't and wouldn't let it go so I was doing this to myself. My son wasn't making me tired, lost, alone or crazy....I was. I didn't know how to let go. I didn't know the difference between enabling and supporting my son. I loved to the point of destroying my life.
It had to stop or I was going to go down with the ship with him.
The good ole saying nothing changes until something changes and that change comes from you. To expect him to change first is not the way to go...trust me
Take care of you one day at a time and your life will change.
((( hugs )))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Cbehr - welcome to MIP.....boy - I can so relate to what you wrote and am so grateful that I found Al-Anon....it is in Al-Anon that I found others who understand and listen without any advice or judgement. They share their experience, strength and hope and we work our programs individually while striving for the same goal - serenity and joy.
You are not alone and there is hope.....please keep coming back and take care of you.
(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Glad you came here to share your feelings cbehr. In person Alanon meetings definitely helped me to feel less alone. When I tried to talk to family members and friends about what what going on in my house, I felt like no one really understood but they offered advice about what I should do about the alcoholic in my life. People meant well but didn't really know what day to day life was like for me. At Alanon meetings, nobody told me what to do or judged me for my choices. People were compassionate. Listening to others sharing at the Alanon meetings helped me to see that the confusion, hopelessness and sadness I felt others had felt when they were new also. I found some people who were new like me and we cried a lot together. I heard others who had been working the Alanon program for awhile and they seemed to be calmer and happier than I was. I didn't know if it would work for me but I didn't know that it wouldn't either. I was "tired" and lonely from living in a house with someone who wasn't there for me or himself so the meetings were somewhere to go to hear a good message and unburden what was weighing heavy on my heart and even get a hug.
If you choose to go to an Alanon meeting, I hope it's a good experience for you. We are here 24/7 too. (((cbehr)))) TT
-- Edited by tiredtonite on Sunday 29th of May 2016 10:46:35 PM
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
