Ok .. I move to Texas thinking that it will mellow my life out and it is absolutely decided that it doesn't.  Now thank GOD I'm not an A because this is stone cold sober I can't imagine the crap that would happen if I was drunk and out of control.

Now I'm terribly warped and the best people I know their edges are not all smooth, it means though expect the unexpected and expect to always wonder what the hell was that!?

My morning starts off with me forgetting my work badge at home and I'm about 1/2 way to work and do the whole God DANG IT!  Turn around and go home .. get OUT of my car and look down .. there is my badge .. now .. this is how my morning starts .. LOL.  So I just say ok fine everything happens for a reason I'm just going with it .. by the way thank you Alanon because my reactions to this before hand would have been awful.  LOL and I would have been miserable because after all NOTHING is funny when living with an A. 

So I get a call because I'm trying to see what I can do about getting better transportation .. this has been my life at work lately WOW what a great voice and I am so distracted I wish I had been more on point when he asked me what I did for a living I would have told him phone sex operator.  LOL .. very normal response to a question that is baiting my ego.  I laughed and said I'm currently saying ABC's and counting 123's which of course leaves him confused oh are you a teacher .. no I'm a book keeper .. LOL.  You caught me reconciling my accounts. 

So we have a good laugh.  I make arrangements to try and get to his dealership and make him promise me IN writing he's not holding me hostage. 

Whatever get out of work, there is someone I'm interested in not at work .. LOL .. however we have been talking for a bit he went and pissed me off.  I don't do games however run a game on me and I will absolutely play someone like a trumpet and he really thought he had my number.  Nope what you see is what you get don't play that.  It has come to my realization that I'm a woman of worth and I will never settle again for table scraps after seeing a whole banquet available.  It's not an ego thing .. it's I want what I want and I might find it or I might not .. I know what I want and settling is not an option.  So don't play the player dude .. and so totally unnecessary. 

Anyway, I'm in my car plug in an address to Google Maps which I officially hate at the moment.  LOL.  I am not in the right area so I call him and let him know I'm running late.  I'm talking to a good girlfriend at the time and we whoop and holler .. my hands do fly and LOTS of laughing .. well we were on a roll and I'm literally dying at the moment.  So the subject of someone she's seeing comes up after we do the whole WTH about the guy I'm dealing with .. he made a weird comment about her going to his friends house who will be gone and I'm like oh no girl .. seriously I will lay odds there are cameras and we are cutting up bad about this .. I've seen this guy dance and all I can say is .. I'm taking a wild guess he used to be a stripper (which actually turns out to be true) .. not the Tatum Channing (Channing Tatum whatever) NOT like that!!  Someone is going to loose an eye.  SO that becomes the joke. 

I'm calling her one-eye'd L and look out for who's in the closet and what kind of sweep do you have to do to make sure there are no cameras in a room.  Ok .. we are now laughing so hard people in the cars next to me are looking .. I did mention I'm stone cold sober .. Thank GOD .. LOL!  When I start on a roll I don't slow.  So she's now crying and laughing .. well .. here's the Karma of the situation .. my contact pops out of my eye.

I'm now blind in one eye .. I can only drive straight, turning would involve actually seeing.  I'm wearing non waterproof mascara so there are all kinds of lovely things running down my face, I can only go straight and I've got Google Maps telling me I'm going in the wrong direction .. LMAO.  I'm also trying to keep my contact wet (which means sticking it IN my mouth and trying not to swallow it because I"m still laughing) and find a drug store .. which I'm not in a good area so I'm sure I could find a drug store however NOT what I want to use .. LOL!  I finally wind up downtown which I know and I find a Walgreens.  I make a call to my appointment and as I am relaying the story the guy on the other end is in HYSTERICS .. don't mean a little either.  I didn't even tell him about One Eye'd L and that whole thing.  So it's so bad by the time I get into Walgreens I look like I have been in a brawl.  Literally .. it takes me 15 min to get my contact in and I leave .. I'm still laughing and I'm distracted I turn the wrong way down a street which would have been horribly scary had there been anyone on the road.  Well thankfully I realize my mistake get myself turned around in time to see a cop AND there is a guy who followed me .. for those who don't know I went through a construction site a while back because a worker moved the cones on me!!  I lead people astray that early morning as well .. LOL!!  So rule of thumb NEVER FOLLOW ME!!!  I really don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going .. Well thankfully my reputation must proceed me because the cop sees both of us and just let's it ride!!  I"m sooo grateful last thing I need to deal with at the moment!!!

OMGOSH .. again stone cold sober who says you can't find fun or trouble being sober .. I have told this story 3x and literally cried telling it and probably because I"m laughing so hard and people do know how things go.  My g/f last night says so you know you can never leave alone again right?  I'm like what am I suppose to do?  I can't have someone hold my hand EVERYWHERE!!? 

I had to share my Friday the 13th debacle .. and I'm going to try again on the car situation today.  I'm telling you that man has bitten off more than he can chew and he's about to find out exactly how much.  Tonight one of my BFF's is turning 40 and yes we will be out having some fun .. at the moment it involves a comedy club and she got a hotel room just so we can not wind up at the waffle house at 430AM .. these evenings don't happen often however when they do we have the best time!  Usually up talking and solving the issue of why are we still single UNTIL I come up with that story and we laugh so hard people have no idea what to do around us. 

Anyway, I hope you had a laugh because there is laughter out there and I'm so grateful the God of my understanding always has my back because I'm sure I've aged an ageless being.  When things don't go according to plan there is always a reason as to why .. this .. oh I haven't come up with why yet and I may never come up with why .. it will be a memory to keep though and something I will randomly snort laughing at thinking OMGOSH that REALLY did happen. 

Hugs S :)