The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading discusses decision making and how the program changes us and that process. For many of us, coming to Al-Anon and practicing the program helps us make our choices more conscientiously. We do the necessary footwork to research our choices, decide and then leave the results up to our HP - so much easier to risk making decisions when we stop thinking about suffering the consequences.
Many of us avoided decisions as we were looking for the magical 'right' choice that might get us what we wanted - even when we didn't know what that choice was. Often we waited until the last minute to decide and never felt good about our choices. We now today that choosing not to decide is also a decision.
The program gives us the freedom to make decisions differently. We also have faith that the consequences will unfold as they should. With changed attitudes, we can perhaps await these with hope and excitement instead of fear and dread.
Today's Reminder --- Today I will have faith in my ability to act. When the time seems right, I will make the best choice I can and allow myself to enjoy the results.
Today's Quote --- from Living with Sobriety --- "Sometimes our enthusiasm for change depends on our willingness to take a chance on tomorrow by risking what we have today."
Before Al-Anon, I was always looking for the 'perfect' answer that would fix things. I wanted to fix others, and our home life and .... I was exhausted and it was exhausting! I truly did not see all the choices available to me as I was stuck in my own fairy-tale dreams with distorted thinking.
As I came to understand better my part and my motives, I also came to accept all I really had any control or influence over was me, myself and I. I couldn't persuade, convince, manipulate or enforce change in anyone else. They had their own journey and I had mine and HP was in the lead. Decision making became much simpler for me as I embraced a new found self-awareness as well as when I accepted that I needed to take care of me, first and foremost. When I keep the focus on me and focus on my motives, my confidence is spot on. I am able to make better choices and decisions and practice this program to the best of my ability.
Thank you MIP family and Al-Anon for all the tools and ESH I get to have a better life! TGIF everyone - make it a great day!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I love this; I could not make decisions before, in fact I had become so unable to trust my own judgement and let go of the outcome that i would get into a flap over simple decisions like 'what do I want to eat for lunch" or "ill I read or watch tv" lol.
One trait i came to recognise was that i would wait for someone else to provide some sort of input or influence before i would make a decision so that if it turned out to be a "bad" choice i could blame someone else. What an awful, mean habit; i'm so grateful to be conscious of it now and able to CHOOSE to do things another way.
It's wonderful to trust that i will be guided to the best possible choice and even better- to know that I can change my mind if new information becomes available.
Yay!!
Thanks for your share and your service IAH
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
I loved what you said about fairy tale expectations. Isn't if funny how we dream of, and try to have, a perfect life. We work so hard to keep everything under control and make things to appear to be beautiful and happy behind our closed doors.
What is so wonderful about MIP, and al-anon, is that I'm learning about how real everyone is. I've also learned that it's okay to make choices that benefit me, and not everyone else. That comes with not accepting certain invitations, not doing things that I don't feel comfortable doing. It is so incredibly freeing.
(((Sweetness))) - hugs back at you! Thanks for all the shares....
What I am learning is as I get stronger and more sane, I realize that imperfect is my new perfect!! I wouldn't have it any other way...
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
